Who's That Smell?

If Dogs Were People

It's taken decades but I finally know what's wrong with my life: I have not yet figured out my fragrance statement. According to a newspaper article on the subject, this is key to knowing who you are and letting other people know who you are too. No wonder nobody pays any attention to me and my one and only child does not answer my texts -- I never use perfume or cologne. I always buy unscented deodorant, laundry detergent and shampoo. In fact, my goal has always been to have no smell whatsoever. (Unless you are in a bakery, smells are bad.)

Bottom line: I have no fragrance statement. Put another way, I lack a fragrance statement. Thus, I am lacking. Wearing a fragrance can fix that, since according to this particular article, it gives you a "quiet confidence boost." It goes on to say that "there are fragrances available for people who want to own the room." That's never been a goal of mine, but it would be nice for people to acknowledge that I'm actually in the room. I wonder if they make one of those.