Selling Fear on the Internet

I woke up with my usual worries clattering inside my brain: Will my blood pressure skyrocket, will I contract a staph infection from my pedicure later today, and what is that huge bump on my head -- the result of a bug bite or a brain tumor? I got up and made some coffee; caffeine would put an end to all that nonsense. Then I opened my computer to see if my son who is away had posted anything overnight and was instantly assaulted by a whole new set of things to worry about, including:

Crepey skin (I already have it but I try to forget.)
Lung cancer (I was diagnosed with it once and they were wrong.)
Racism (It's rampant and I'm Jewish.)
An AMTRAK train crashing into my car (One comes right through our town and I drive over the tracks many times each day.)
Getting shot dead by my husband with a crossbow (Mitch is always talking about wanting to take archery lessons and in fact owns a crossbow.)
Being caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone bad (There was one of those in Augusta, Maine yesterday, in a Walmart parking lot. Good thing I never shop there.)
My pet getting trapped inside our home in a fire (Could happen any time which is why I always have to go back and check if I left a candle burning in the bathroom whenever we go to a movie.)

Some days staying in bed seems so appealing.