Things I Can't Say

A face only a mother could love.

"Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?"

If I commit myself to the preceding litmus test for discourse as decreed by my guru, Eknath Easwaran, I may not be able to write this blog anymore, or at least it won't be very funny or compelling. For example, I wanted to say that, after seeing him on TV just now, I must conclude that Ted Cruz is simply too damn ugly to become president. I mean really, do we want to look at that mug constantly for the next four years? But saying that is not at all kind, so I won't say it.

That's our girl....

As for Hillary, let's face it she is a lesbian. And while there's certainly nothing wrong with that, out of all of the women in the United States who could be our first female president, does it have to be one of those? I mean, she exhibits no female qualities, what with the screaming and the pointing and the pantsuits. But then, that's not really true, it's just what I happen to think, so I won't say that either, since I'm kind of hoping for a decent afterlife.

"Oy, give me a minute...."

And Bernie Sanders, who I love and sent money to for his campaign, might just be a tad too old to do a great job. I mean, he's five years older than I and in the morning it takes me a good while to get going. I need my fish oil and some warm lemon juice and of course a couple of cups of coffee before I can really think straight, so what about him? What if there's a crisis first thing in the morning? Would Bernie be able to jump out of bed and act, or even just jump out of bed? But saying that isn't necessary, so forget you saw this.