Film Review: 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

The leading lady looking scared.

If we were friends I'd just tell you what happens in 10 Cloverfield Lane and say don't bother, it's dumb. But since many of my readers are strangers to me, I feel a responsibility to do more. So I'll say, okay, see it if you enjoy jumping out of your skin or at least thinking you might any minute, or if you like movies about psychopaths. In the interest of giving nothing away, since this is one of those movies where all the separate, silly parts coalesce in the last fifteen minutes into a gigantic, stupid and disappointing ending, I'll just list the good things about it, which will be a lot quicker than listing the bad things:

1. It stars John Goodman, who is convincingly scary, creepy and not even a teeny bit likable, which is sad if you have liked him up until now. (This is both a good and bad thing.)

2. The music is a fun mix of high-pitched instrumentals (common to Alfred Hitchcock movies) alerting you to be terrified, and popular oldies.

3. If you're into the acting, the performance to watch comes from a young actor named John Gallagher, Jr. Since there are just three people in the film you will spot him immediately for being not John Goodman and not the girl (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).

4. Scenes were openly plagiarized from TV's Lost, the first Jurassic Park, Independence Day and Mel Gibson's Signs, with a dash of Silence of the Lambs, so obviously this is no comedy.

5. The very best scene in the movie -- and it's a doozy -- will convince you to never even glance at your phone while driving, thus potentially saving a life and making it a good PSA.

6. The credits at the end were really great typographically, so if you are a graphic designer and are tempted to walk out halfway, hang in there.