Working for a Living

If you know what to do with this, apply today...

In my daily search for gainful employment, I check under the heading of Education in case there is an opening for an art teacher. Today I found the following position advertised on Craigslist:

Full-time professional needed for new infant/toddler daycare center. Must have undergraduate teaching degree and be working towards a Master's in Education. Experience preferred but we are willing to train the right person. To succeed in this environment, the right candidate will have had a full frontal lobotomy. Requirements include:

1. wiping snotty noses
2. changing poopy diapers
3. cleaning up vomit
4. ability to withstand incessant screaming, sporadic crying and intermittent wailing
5. be able to lift 50-75 pounds and carry it around until it shuts up
6. be prepared to placate hysterical parents who will blame you for everything
7. must be available from 6am to 6pm weekdays
8. must have reliable transportation
9. must possess first-aid training, CPR certificate and no self-esteem

$8.00/hour, no benefits--and we mean NO benefits.