If the War Didn't Kill Them, This Might

Kind of makes you want to run out and enlist!

Happy Veteran's Day! If you risked your life in a war to defend our country's values, then today you can reap the rewards. Those generous folks at Outback Steakhouse are offering all vets a free Bloomin' Onion just to say thanks. The preparation of this particular dish, which was invented by the Outback Steakhouse in 1988, involves taking an ordinary onion that never hurt anyone, dipping it in an egg batter and then deep-frying it in lard. As a result, a single Bloomin' Onion with dressing--and who doesn't want the dressing--contains approximately 3,000 calories and 134 grams of fat.

But never fear--you don't have to be a veteran to eat badly. Just moments ago I saw a TV commercial for Nutella, that sort of foreign chocolate goopy stuff you're never sure what to do with. A mom in her lovely, upscale kitchen is seen serving breakfast to her two non-compliant children. The kindly voice-over infers that most kids won't eat a healthy breakfast, yet these two are gobbling up their yummy Nutella on bread. This makes their mom very happy, and with good reason: The voice tells us that Nutella is "made with healthy hazelnuts and skimmed milk, with just a hint of chocolate."

Ha! Here's what it really is: About half of the calories in Nutella come from fat and about 40% of the calories come from sugar. The main ingredients --sugar and palm oil-- are combined with hazelnuts, cocoa solids and a teeny bit of skimmed milk. Nutella contains 70% saturated fat and processed sugar by weight. A two-tablespoon serving contains 200 calories derived from 11 grams of fat and 21 grams of sugar. In addition, the spread contains 15mg of sodium and 2g of protein per serving.

So if there's a veteran you kind of dislike, or some kids that are really annoying, invite them over for some deep-fried onions topped with chocolate sauce. And Happy Veteran's Day.