Gays May Sleep Better, but What About Us?

I never knew the President reads my blog, but obviously he read the one I posted two days ago ("Do the Right Thing") about his wimpy stance on gay marriage, finally decided that supporting it really was the right thing to do. Okay, fine. Now what--will every gay person vote for him in November? If so, I guess he's got the election in the bag, since the opposition clearly feels otherwise. But how much does it matter, really, with so many other looming problems brewing? While all those gays are out getting married, those problems will continue to fester and eventually erupt. Task forces will be named; headlines will be written. Must we wait for disaster to strike before we right these egregious wrongs? Following are just a few issues, none of them having to do with sexuality, that kept me up last night, to the point where at three in the morning I went down to the kitchen and heated some milk, having heard that warm milk is soporific. It was, despite the scientific evidence against it, especially after I tossed in those two Lorazipams. Okay, and two Fig Newtons. Anyway, something must be done about the following egregious problems corroding our society:

1. The rules regarding handicapped bathrooms must be clarified. Signs should be posted inside all public restrooms stating that in the absence of a handicapped person, any able-bodied person may enter that particular extra-large, much better, New-York-City-studio-apartment-sized stall.This is especially true when a long line of people who desperately have to pee has formed, and yet still, those law-abiding, politically correct citizens stand there, legs crossed, fearful of the wrath of an angry God or inbound wheelchair.
2. Speed limit signs on all roads are currently meaningless. When we travel a road that says "SPEED LIMIT 65," my husband, responding to an internal radar device only men hear, interprets that to mean he can reach 78 mph and that he will be ticketed only if he reaches 80 mph.  All the cars passing me when I drive 65 seem to prove him right. So I believe that our road signs need to be changed to reflect reality, otherwise, to use a mixed metaphor, we are flying blind. Not counting the distribution of those annoying orange cones and barrels on roads where no work seems underway, which is surely a full-time job for many employees, what else is the Department of Transportation doing anyway? They've got time, believe me.
3. Mothers Day and Fathers Day are bad news, plain and simple. First of all, many perfectly wonderful moms and dads are already dead, so what the heck? Secondly, many of the living ones are child abusers, and it's hard to shop for them. Third, the whole scam is all about advertisers selling things and restaurants having Early Bird specials and forcing innocent people to eat Blooming Onions and buy roses. We need to put an end to meaningless holidays that only make people feel bad--especially the orphans, remember them? Seriously. My own mother died in 1981 so I've got nothing but a lump in my throat for a few days before, the day of, and the whole next day. (Thanks a lot, Hallmark.) And my son always feels guilty and never knows what to do about the whole situation. I know he loves me so I tell him to ignore it, but still he worries when he sees all the advertising for flowers, candy, cards, jewelry, and more. The president could put an end to this fiasco right now, and should.

So in case Obama thinks he's got the election in the bag now that he gave the thumbs-up to gay marriage, he better think again. Not everyone is happy.