Mother of the Year

Among the things I worry about--and there's a long list, as anyone who knows me will attest--is the fear that I have already or might still somehow damage my only child through bad parenting. This is not based on anything concrete, since at age 24 he is wonderful and I would not change one thing about him. Okay, maybe one thing--but nothing big. Okay, one or two big things--not really, I am just joshing. Okay, I'm not really joshing but anyway, I often wonder if somehow I inadvertently, or even advertently, contributed to whatever phobias or failings he may secretly harbor or may yet develop. After all, it's always the mother's fault, right? (Which is why, when my son was born, I got rid of all my see-through nighties, push-up bras, crotchless panties, sequined body suits and lace teddies. Naturally my husband balked, but I was adamant that our child's welfare came before his sick and twisted needs.)

Apparently not every mother is saddled with these concerns, as this very recent photo of the famous entertainer Cher illustrates. Here she is, posing for the paparazzi at last year's Video Music Awards ceremony, where she presented an award to Lady Gaga, who was dressed all in meat; I guess you've got to try harder when your competition wears strips of bacon and slabs of beef.

Anyway, Cher is exactly my age, which is old enough to get Medicare, which she damn well needs since she undergoes a plastic surgery procedure about once a month. Her daughter, the former Chastity Bono, is now quite publicly a male called Chaz, albeit without the requisite plumbing but with everything else necessary to warrant a female partner on "Dancing With the Stars."

I can't help but wonder, as I have before and no doubt will continue to do in the future, if Cher's questionable mothering practices played a part in her child's decision to change gender.  I'm not so sure I could accept a similar decision from my child, but if he did I'm sure I'd still love him. But I would definitely ditch that outfit and re-think the hair.