Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Daddy for President

Sold a bill of goods by my ex-husband and a succession of psychiatrists, I bought into the fiction eons ago that I was unduly nervous. Now, after serious consideration and years of self-reflection, I think I am right on the money. In fact, I will go so far as to say that if you are not totally freaked out at this very moment, then something is drastically wrong with you. If you're drunk or on drugs, you're excused; otherwise, if you are actually calm, cool and collected in the year 2011, you must be nuts.

Why? Try earthquakes everywhere, sex offenders in Ivy League locker room showers, presidential contenders sticking their hands up women's skirts, missing tots killed by their parents, police warring with protesters around the country, nukes in the hands of nutcases across the globe, and heads of state resigning all over the place. As if that's not all bad enough, new reports show that your home--yes, your home--could go up in flames in three minutes or less owing to today's more flammable furnishings and building materials. And lest you forget, AIDS still runs rampant, our Attorney General is a dingbat, and Pentagon probes reveal that body parts of dead servicemen are regularly lost or misplaced. Still calm? Think the falling Dow and rising unemployment.

Amidst all this turmoil, "President Gingrich" has a nice ring to it. He is such a grown-up.



2 comments:

  1. Yuck. Gingrick is an A*@. Everything you talked about was always happening, just now we have so many more ways to put it in our face. Worry about what you can control.

    GL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Which one of them isn't? (And that includes the current WH occupant.)

    ReplyDelete

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