No matter how much I read, study and ponder, there are still things that escape my understanding. And while they don't keep me up at night, they do add to my confusion during the day, causing me to feel slightly "out of the know" as opposed to "in the know." I'm not talking about those run-of-the-mill mysteries of life that most of us marvel at, like why a talking gecko with an Australian accent, or how does pushing a few buttons in California alert your Aunt Sophie in Toledo--or maybe even Tuscany if she is vacationing--to push another button and suddenly hear your voice, or why is marijuana illegal but all those cold medications with deleterious side effects are not, and exactly what do they do for you in the hospital if you have an erection lasting more than fours hours and manage to get there?
No, I'm talking about new questions that have arisen in the past few days, like how could a man still be a football coach at the age of 84, and why was a 10-year-old boy taking a shower at Penn State in the first place, and how did everyone find out about it so many years later? And what kind of a woman says, in describing a man making a pass at her, "he reached for my genitals" instead of saying crotch or panties? Who in their right mind could possibly explain a complicated health care plan for the nation in 30 seconds or less, and why would anyone make such a request? What did Steve Jobs see on his deathbed that caused him to say, "Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow," and is a deathbed different from a regular bed or is it the same bed until you are sick and then it's a sickbed first, sort of like when you are pregnant and your gynecologist turns into your obstetrician, then after the baby is born he turns back into your gynecologist? And the most perplexing of all: How is it possible that out of 157.2 million females in America as of October 2010, the only one running for president is Michele Bachmann, with her changing hair and big earrings and fussbudget husband who tries to make gays go straight?
Actually, now that I think of it, it's a wonder any of us fall asleep at night.
Actually, now that I think of it, it's a wonder any of us fall asleep at night.
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