Finding Dr. No

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Concerning my arthritic hip, several doctors have suggested installing an artificial one as the only fix, so when I went to the alleged "best hip guy in Maine" earlier today I expected to hear the same thing. Instead, miraculously, he said "no." This was an earth-shattering event, at least in my experience, since other surgeons I have met with in the past concerning other body parts have warned that if I did not have surgery right away-- i.e. the next available hole in their schedule-- I would get sicker and possibly develop cancer (if I didn't already have it) and die, or else just be really miserable forever until, of course, I did die. Naturally, being a sucker for feeling good, I've always caved, and thus have had two surgeries that were declared unnecessary after the fact by the very same practitioners who swore I needed them in the first place.

So I was delighted, amazed and relieved when Dr. No (not his real name) said I did not require his services. Eliminating the possibility that he is overbooked and on the verge of a nervous breakdown or that he has all the money he needs, I concluded that there actually are some altruistic doctors out there. He still kept me waiting long enough to read the entire Car Issue of Consumer Reports and find out that my brand new Saab 9-3 is not even rated because their editors think it sucks so much, so it's not like he's a total saint. However, my faith in the medical establishment has been partially restored. Plus I get to keep my own hip, at least for now, and really, isn't that all we ever really have?