Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Dressing for Success

Despite the existence of a retail clothing chain called Forever 21, an article in yesterday's increasingly annoying Wall Street Journal discussed the burning issue of how women past the age of 40 should start "dressing their age." Since I am well past 40 this caught my attention, and I wondered just what I should wear that would be acceptable to all those people I don't know and will never meet who constitute the public and who may be offended by the sight of me in clothing deemed "too young."

A burka made of gummi bears: definitely too young!

What is too young, anyway? (And of course, "Sez who?") Certainly those adorable "onesies" and  footed pajamas and bunny slippers would fall into that category, although I am pretty sure you can sleep in whatever you want. But as for outdoor wear, I am unsure and would hate to offend. This is one of those problems they avoid in Islamic countries with the enforced burkas on women, making life so much easier. So maybe they're not all wrong after all. (Sadly I can't see that trend catching on here, although admit it: Haven't you seen lots of women out there in shorts and tank tops who you wished were wearing a burka instead?)

At bottom is the unstated fact that dressing young gets attention, forcing any onlookers to actually see an old person. This is unpleasant for anyone young who doesn't want to be reminded of the fact that they are inevitably headed in that direction. Thus old people are supposed to try as hard as they can to be invisible. No bright colors! No short skirts displaying wobbly knees or sagging skin! And certainly no low-cut anything, since breasts must be perky and inflated to matter at all!

I am going to the dentist this morning and plan on wearing jeans and a sweater with a polka-dotted scarf. I just hope those dots aren't too loud for my age, because the last person you want to offend is your dentist, at least while he's working on your few remaining teeth.

No comments:

Post a Comment