Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Last Supper

These days I can't seem to get hired for so many reasons, it's not funny--not that it would be funny for fewer reasons either. Whatever the cause, I'm thinking my blog needs a "niche," since the only way I can make money is through writing, and the only thing I want to write is this blog. If I could distinguish it from the 60 billion other blogs out there, I could get attract more readers, fill it with ads and make money writing it. (Hang in, this part is boring even to me.) Anyway, my niche. Some things that are popular that I know a lot about:
1. Cooking
2. Suicide
3. Cats
4. Art
5. Boring jobs
6. Dysfunctional families
7. Dieting
8. Life in a small town
9. Literature

Since I wrote cooking first, that must mean something. Okay, so I'll have a cooking blog, but it has to be something different since there are so many already. How about Cooking for Dysfunctional Families. Artful Eating. Cooking for Cats. Cooking the Books. Food for the Suicidal, or What to Eat for that Last Meal. Or maybe just: The Last Meal. Diets be damned: What to eat when you are suicidal. That's it! Everyone loves to eat, except for anorexics and they're completely nuts--and besides, they have plenty of their own blogs already, whereas there are hardly any for the suicidal, which many people are, like about 30,000 annually just here in America. And the World Health Organization estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds. That's a lot of readers, and they all have to eat something, since hardly anyone chooses starvation as the final solution.

Now I'm wondering what I would have. Hmmm, it's so hard to imagine not being worried about dieting since I haven't eaten a meal in more than 50 years without obsessing on calories contained therein. Anyway, my blog will focus on what to eat before you:
1. jump off a bridge (nothing too heavy)
2. sit in the car in the garage and turn on the motor (beef stew, pot roast, comfort foods)
2. shoot yourself (cheesecake, maybe a Whopper and fries)
4. overdose on sleeping pills (anything with vodka as main ingredient)
5. hang yourself (who could eat?)

 Needs work, but I may have found my niche. Certainly nobody else is doing it.

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