Right On, Elon!

Would you pay a gardener hired to seed your lawn who never showed up, and neither did the grass? Would you pay a nanny who didn't pick up your child from daycare and never told you why? Would you pay a doctor who missed your scheduled appointment and didn't respond to your follow-up calls asking what happened? Would you pay a restaurant bill if your server never brought the food and you left hungry? 

The preceding questions may seem silly since the answers are all obviously a resounding, "No!" So why should we pay thousands upon thousands of employees who are supposedly running our government yet can't explain what they do to earn their salaries? Since last week, government employees have been stunned and outraged at being asked to describe the fruits of their labors, for just one week! That's because there are few fruits and likely fewer labors. 

What else can explain the furor expressed by so many towards Elon Musk, the world's most successful businessman who values the concept of work, asking employees (whose salaries are paid by all of us) to explain what they do. 

Wake up and smell the coffee, people: Washington, DC is home to the country's biggest amusement park. If you score a ticket, i.e. a government job, it's a free ride for life. As a graphic designer awarded many government contracts over the 30 years I lived there, I witnessed firsthand the total ennui of so many workers sleep-walking in high-paying positions who did little but attend birthday parties for colleagues, linger over luncheons for retiring bosses and struggle to stay awake during tedious weekly staff meetings where nothing was accomplished but an exchange of gossip.

President Trump has announced that those who don't reply to Musk's request risk being terminated. I say that's a great plan: fire them all and start fresh. If you've ever interacted with any government office in Washington and tried to get something done, you know that things couldn't get any worse.

Not Exactly A Fair Fight

Yes, people have died on both sides of the war between Israel and Hamas -- or Gaza -- or the Palestinians -- or whatever you choose to call the people who want to see every Jew, regardless of age, dead. Autopsies show the two Bibas children returned to Israel in a box after being held hostage for more than 500 days had been strangled to death.

Below is a letter from today's Wall Street Journal that illuminates the stark difference between the two warring sides:

Don't Feel Sorry For The Lamp

Many years ago there was a great TV commercial for IKEA, the popular Scandinavian furniture purveyor. It showed a bleak, rainy day outside. Inside,  someone opened up a box and took out a shiny, new lamp. They placed it on their desk, replacing the old, crook-neck lamp that was bent way down and looking very sad. The person walked outside into the harsh weather and deposited the old lamp on top of a trash bin at the street. 

It was pretty heartbreaking honestly, seeing the old lamp instantly forgotten and getting rained on. The voiceover said, "You feel sorry for the lamp, don't you? Don't feel sorry for the lamp. It's a lamp!"

I am reminded of that when I read that people are so sad for the poor, innocent Palestinians. You know, the people who want nothing but to see all Jews dead. The people who teach their children in school, beginning in kindergarten, that Jews are vermin and must die. The people who killed a young mother, age 32, and her two children, ages 4 years old and 10 months old (shown above) in cold blood, after holding them hostage and torturing them -- the baby too. 

I say, "You feel sorry for the Palestinians? Don't feel sorry for them. They are Palestinians!"

High-Frequency Statesmanship

Science has proven that the human ear can hear sounds within the frequency range of 20Hz to 20,000Hz, whereas a dog's hearing ability extends to frequencies up to 65,000Hz or higher. That changes their perception of the world.

In a similar way, some people operate on a higher frequency than can be understood by the average person. President Trump and Elon Musk are two people whose intelligence is far above the norm, which means that many of the rest of us may often have a hard time understanding them. 

The lion's share  of people who simply cannot interpret the actions of Trump and Musk are Democrats, who mostly operate at a very low frequency. Why do I say that? Here are a few reasons:

1. They take their political marching orders from dodos such as Joy Reid, Rachel Maddow, Whoopie Goldberg, Joy Behar, the dolts of CNN, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Bernie Sanders, Chuck Schumer and Adam Schiff.  

2. They find Jimmy Fallon funny. 

3. They believe there are 72 genders. 

4. They supported Kamala Harris in her quest to become the most powerful person in the world, simply because of her skin color.

5. They will watch the Academy Awards show, including the Red Carpet foolishness. 

6. They want to normalize Drag Queens as a valid lifestyle. 

7. They said President Clinton's sex life was "his own business" when he had sex in the White House with a young intern, but mercilessly ravaged Brett Kavanaugh for drunken behavior at a beer party when he was 17 and a private citizen.

8. They elected Ilhan Omar, a Muslim who hates America and thus all Americans, as a member of our Congress.

I'd go on but you get the point: Trump and Musk, both former Democrats who came to their senses, are taking a sledgehammer to the mountain of waste that is our federal government. The lazy bureaucrats who live inside that mountain are angry, scared and delusional, appalled at having to describe what they do to earn their pay. So they lash out and call the dynamic duo names, scrawl signs to wave during protests, and imagine Nazi salutes everywhere. It would be funny were it not so sad. 

President Trump, a known brilliant negotiator and businessman, is on his way to ending the three-year war that has taken the lives of 43,000 Ukrainian soldiers and 198,000 Russian soldiers. He's only been in office for a little over one month and has already spoken with the leaders of both countries about a path to a peaceful resolution of their differences, one that will benefit all involved including the U.S.

The Dems should just shut up about Musk and Trump and go back to planning their next Disney vacation, knowing that the world's problems are in good hands. I wish they could understand that everything is fine, but they just can't hear it.

There Is A God After All

The best proof I have seen as to whether or not God exists is the fact that the prayers of millions of people, including myself, have finally been answered: Joy Reid, a heinous disciple of the Devil himself, has finally been axed from the TV lineup on MSNBC. Which also proves that even dummies can learn.

Time to Trash Elon Musk

If you have nothing to do today except binge the latest Netflix series, watch sports on TV, go shopping at the mall, or hang out at the neighborhood bar eating pizza and drinking beer until it's time to go home and fight with your spouse, then I'm talking to you! You're the one who hates Elon Musk and calls him stupid, and wants him deported, and thinks he is trying to ruin America.

So, if you have nothing to do today except the things mentioned above, just spend an hour or more, depending on how fast you read, on Elon Musk's Wikipedia page. Then tell me he's an idiot.

He has two pages on Wiki. Following is the opening paragraph of the page entitled List of Awards and Honors received by Elon Musk. 

"Business magnate and technologist Elon Musk is recognized for his design and engineering work on Tesla vehicles and SpaceX rockets and his efforts to combat global warming. For his renewable energy work and advocacy, he has received several environmentalist awards, including the National Wildlife Federation's Connie Award and a Global Green award. In part for his contributions to space travel, Musk was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society in 2018, was listed among the Time 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2010, 2013, 2018 and 2021, and was ranked joint-first on the Forbes list of the "Most Innovative Leaders of 2019". On December 13, 2021, Time named him Person of the Year."

And that's just the first paragraph. What have you earned -- a bowling trophy or maybe a blue ribbon for your apple pie? But go ahead and trash him on your Facebook page -- after all, you've got the time.

The Outrageous Arrogance of Janet Mills

Governor Mills

As someone living in Maine I feel I can say with complete confidence that our governor, Janet Mills, is a complete and total D-word.* I chose that word carefully, as she is obviously a transgender male who isn't fooling anyone. That's why she's so hot for men to compete in women's sports, enough to hurl the petulant response at the President of the United States, "See you in court!

I don't know about you, but I get confused when someone is a "transgender male" or "transgender female." I always have to stop and think, Is that a man becoming a woman or is that a woman becoming a man? So what are they now? A friend of mine came up with an easy way to know instantly: just replace the word "transgender" with the word "fake." And there you have it.

*FYI, you can't call anyone a "dick" anymore; the woke lefties now require you to say"D-word." So if you run into some retard who pisses you off, whatever you do, don't call him a dick!

Something Worse Than Elon

Those foaming-at-the-mouth anti-Muskers are apoplectic over Elon fine-tooth-combing the IRS for fraud, waste and abuse. Led by raging Senator Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren, they fear that their tax information and social security numbers will be seen by invading eyes.

Hey, here's a news flash: Your tax information and SSNs have already been seen by every Tom, D-word and Harry at the IRS who happens to flip open your file. Ditto every tax accountant you ever hired to do your return. Remember that sketchy guy at H&R Block? What if he "did something" with your information? And BTW, exactly what would someone "do" with that information?

People should stop worrying about Elon Musk and start worrying about the long-term damage those Ozempic injections are doing to their insides.

What's To Hate About A Jew?

The New York neighborhood of Borough Park is home to over half of the 600,000 Jewish people residing in Brooklyn. It has more than 300 synagogues. I was born there and spent the first year of my life in that community.

Now I live in the small town of Freeport (pop. 8,776), notable for being the home of the LLBean Mothership. (My name for it.) Freeport does not have any Jewish synagogues. The city of Portland, 20 minutes away, has 6. 

Actor Paul Newman

I have lived in Freeport for the last 15 years, and in all that time have had one Jewish friend -- actually two since his wife converted as an adult and although she was not born or raised in the religion she adheres to Judaism's practices and celebrates its holidays. So, I've met two Jews in 15 years here, not a great record. Oh wait, there's a guy up the street who is Jewish by birth but his wife and his kids are not. He doesn't count.

This morning I spoke with my son on the phone. He lives in Portland. He told me that his only Jewish friend here went outside this morning and found a swastika painted on his car's windshield.

Meanwhile, in New York last Tuesday night, anti-Israel protest groups staged a rally in Borough Park, shouting that the residents were “settlers” and “Zionists” and engaging in fist-fights with the pro-Israel counter-protesters. Police were called to break it up.

One of those interviewed at the protest said, "It makes me sad and mad that our country allows these anti-Jewish, anti-American protestors from Muslim countries into this country. Also, the idiotic young college-indoctrinated students are clueless."

Jew Spotlight: Actor Paul Newman was Jewish. Besides being possibly the handsomest man who ever lived, he was a great actor who earned many significant awards and accolades during his decades on stage and screen. His marriage to actress Joanne Woodward lasted 50 years, until his death in 2008. 

He was a philanthropist who started the company Newman's Own, which makes and sells a variety of foods. The Foundation in his name continues his commitment to use 100% of its profits from the sale of their products to support children, their families and their organizations, both in the US and abroad.

"Trans Women" Are Men, Right?

I am very confused, as many others might be as well. There are lots of news stories about transgender women lately, and how President Trump is changing the laws surrounding this odd phenomenon. One of these stories was in our local news. 

A high-school boy who did poorly in a particular sport started "identifying" as female and joined the girl's team. He just placed first in a state pole-vaulting competition. He still looks like a boy, but he's taller and his hair is longer. 

I wish we could come up with something else to call these transgender women to avoid all the confusion. How about "men?"

We Need A Vaccine for TDS

I am surprised that TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) is even worse now than in the past, when President Trump is doing so much good for the average American, and in such a short time. Hopefully Bobby will approve a vaccine for it before every last Democrat turns into a babbling idiot.

Shown below is a screen shot from a Facebook post of one of its worst sufferers, illustrating the ridiculous heights of fantasy the TDS fever causes (i.e. Republicans don't care if planes crash, inferring that they have all been Trump's fault).  

The poor woman. As she says at the end, she is not sleeping well. Get some help, Kat!

TV Review: SNL 50th ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

Back when SNL was funny....

Last night, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) threw itself a giant party in an overblown, more-than-three-hour festival of self-promotion to celebrate its comedy show, Saturday Night Live. Featuring cast members and musical performers from the past 50 years to the present day, it presented the dubious anniversary with outlandish fanfare, as if it were a combination of the Academy Awards and the V-Day Parade signaling the end of World War Two. 

From the opening shot of singer Paul Simon looking (and sounding) about 100 years old to the closing act of Beatle Paul McCartney's sad imitation of his former self, I found the whole thing shockingly off-key. As a baby boomer who made sure to be home by 11:30 pm EST every Saturday during the show's early years, when it was funny, I was hoping for a boisterous romp down memory lane. Instead it was a depressing look at just how old everyone, including me, has gotten. (Although none as old as former wild man Garrett Morris, now 88, who came on near the end and did literally nothing but sit in a chair and depress me further.)

In between those two geriatric performers there were lots of younger people running around being fit and not funny. No matter -- today the reviews are in and they are 100% positive, with actor Jack Nicholson, now 87, earning accolades simply for dressing himself and getting there. Conspicuously absent were some of the best cast members and guests from the early days, including Gilda Radner, Andy Kaufman, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Norm MacDonald and Phil Hartman, all dead now. 

Despite all of that, seeing Adam Sandler get teary during his tribute song made it worth staying up that late. And Bill Murray, if you could ignore him looking like Father Time, was hysterical, as usual.

The Coming Civil War

If, unlike half the country who finally feel that our government is working for us and not against us, you are on the fence about the direction of Trump and his cabinet, reading today's New York Times will push you right off and into the roiling Sea of Despair they seem to relish swimming in. Every story in their leaning tower of opinion tells of the dire doings by Trump and his minions, each of whom is a representative of the Devil himself. We must all fear them!

Bobby Kennedy will give all of us polio and AIDS and he won't even care! J.D. Vance will turn all of Europe against America and probably start a world war. Elon Musk, who according to the editors of the Times causes chaos, will likely pocket all the money he finds on his wicked hunt for waste and fraud, like he needs more. (The current richest man in the world obviously wants to be the richest man in the Milky Way.)

If you believe that Trump's recent executive order aimed at the military implies a "shameful campaign against transgenders," who by the way represent less than 1% of the population, you're likely to adore an article denigrating that decision. The order states that,"A man's assertion that he is a woman, and his requirement that others honor this falsehood, is not consistent with the humility and selflessness required of a service member."  Hey, sounds good to me. Speaking of chaos, do we really need women with penises and men with vaginas duking it out in the barracks?

Adding to the raucous chorus is Randi Weingarten, the president of the teacher's union (AFT) who makes half a mil a year while most new teachers in Maine bring home about $40K. She writes that Trump and Musk, in their quest to raise the abysmal scores of America's students who occupy last place in everything among developed nations, are "swinging a wrecking ball at the Department of Education. This attack on our children is wrong."

I'll tell you what's wrong, Randi: The constant whining and nit-picking of the Democrats, sore losers to the max, who wake up every morning and set out to further divide our fractured nation until it truly erupts into another civil war. Now where the hell is my musket?

Equal Racism For All

"Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to inherited attributes and can be divided based on the superiority of one race or ethnicity over another. It may also mean prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against other people because they are of a different ethnic background." -- Wikipedia 

Racism exists. It's a real thing. People of different races really do possess different behavioral traits due to inherited attributes. Nobody could argue that one and win. So exactly what is "reverse racism?"

It's nothing. There's no such thing. You can hate whites, you can hate blacks, you can hate Jews, you can hate Latinos -- pick any ethnicity and hate them if that's your thing. If you do so you are guilty of racism. Yet black people think they own the term, and the sentiment, and thus if one discriminates against white people it is "reverse" racism, which is somehow a lesser form of the practice. 

That's so unfair. Hating whites is just as good (bad) as hating anyone else.

America's Favorite Pastime: The Blame Game

Using an expected inflation rate of 4% on average, it will cost $310,605 to raise a child in a middle-class home from birth to age 18. 

So say the experts who immerse themselves in such statistics. But nowhere can one find any dollar amount of what a child might owe his or her parent for doing so. I say, at the very least they might give a damn about that parent's welfare. Sadly, this is not always the case.

Take, for example, a story in today's Wall Street Journal about a man living in Portland, Oregon who has filed a wrongful-death suit against a California power company, claiming their downed power lines in a nearby canyon caused his father's death in the recent fires that devastated the city of Altadena.

The man, Xiaoyong Zhao, had tried and failed to reach his 84-year old father during the first day of the fires. The elder man, who did not speak or understand English and was unable to walk unassisted, lived alone in a house in Altadena. When the son couldn't reach his father he assumed he had gone to sleep. The next morning he flew to California and went to his father's house and found it totally burned to the ground. He also found his father's remains.

So many questions come to mind: Why didn't he fly to Altadena when he first heard of the fires that threatened his father's neighborhood? Why was his elderly father, language and mobility impaired, living alone in another state? What does one owe an aging parent, especially one living in a foreign land? And lastly, why sue anybody, especially the power company that asserts their power lines showed no sign of malfunction before the start of the fire? 

Obviously Mr. Zhao should sue himself. If he wins the case he can use the money to pay for the psychoanalysis he will need for the remainder of his life, trying to assuage his guilt and face his responsibility in his father's death.

Fake News On FOX News

If blue eggs are your thing, he's your guy.

Yesterday morning I switched on FOX News (the only legitimate news channel IMHO) in the middle of a report on the state of the economy. A woman who I assumed was an expert in the field was talking about the soaring price of eggs. Apparently they are now sky-high, with many if not most restaurants charging an extra fifty cents per egg for any dish that contains eggs. Then she held up a box of eggs, looked squarely into the camera and said, "A dozen eggs now costs ten dollars in the U.S."

I was stunned. Really? Since we buy our eggs from a friend who raises chickens and pay him six bucks a dozen, I was out of touch with store prices. So the ex-reporter lurking inside me decided to check it out locally. After reading the following on Wikipedia I figured Shaw's, just a mile from my house, would offer a perfect reflection of the national egg scene:

"Shaw's and Star Market are two American supermarket chains under united management based in West Bridgewater, Massachusetts, employing about 30,000 associates in 150 total stores; 129 stores are operated under the Shaw's banner in Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont, while Star Market operates 21 stores in Massachusetts, most of which are in or near Boston." 

I found rows and rows of eggs, at least 20 different brands and types. A very few, all white eggs with nothing special going on, were $4.99 per dozen. Most of the rest, all brown eggs, cost $5.99 per dozen while a few from free-range, all-happy chickens were $6.99. There was one brand for $7.99. The most expensive I could find was a dozen containing all-natural, free-range, organic eggs of different colors -- brown, pale blue and white -- for $9.00. (Who needs blue eggs? You don't eat the shells.)

That economist should have said eggs cost ten bucks except in New England. So yes, sometimes there is fake news on FOX.

Kudos to Trump, Obviously

It hasn't even been one month since Donald Trump took the oath of office,

and the Democrats are scrambling around like terrorized ants after a can of Raid has been sprayed nearby. They're so busy, busy, oh so busy, looking for ways to impeach Trump or denigrate every single one of his cabinet members, it's amazing they can get any work done. Oh right, that is their work: screaming that the sky is falling and further dividing our sorely divided country. (See photo)

Rep. Maxine Waters (D, Calif.)

Imagine if even one freakin' Democrat ever said, "Hey, Trump is delivering on all of his promises! He's talking to the press every day! His actions are transparent, so no hidden meetings and no trying to guess who is running the government!" Oh well, I can dream, can't I?

Lest we forget: We never saw Joe Biden. Ever. He never spoke to the press. Ever. He didn't know what the hell was going on. Ever. We never knew anything about what the cabinet members were doing. For example, Pete Buttigieg was always just being gay and having babies with his partner Chastain, who he was also always kissing. (Good job, Pete!) And sorry, but whoever else was in the Biden cabinet and whatever they accomplished escapes me now.

Personally I find it refreshing to actually witness the President running our country, meeting with foreign leaders and bringing home hostages, especially the schoolteacher who was in a Russian prison for more than three years and Trump got him home 22 days after becoming President. If they can't applaud that accomplishment, then the Democrats are even more farblungit than I thought. (Look it up, it's Yiddish.)

Anatomy of A Protest

If, like the throngs of clueless students at Bowdoin College who attended an anti-Israel protest last weekend, you think Benjamin Netanyahu is a big, bad meanie for hurting Palestinians, consider this tidbit from today's Wall Street Journal:

"For 16 months, Alan Ohel's mother wasn't sure if her son, kidnapped by Hamas on Oct. 7, 2023, was alive or dead. Last weekend, she found out that he has been kept shackled in an underground tunnel, shrapnel in his eye and shoulder, subsisting on one piece of pita bread a day."

Now, imagine being shackled in an underground tunnel, just for a day or two but you're a perfectly healthy 24-year-old. Next, imagine being held there for 493 days, but with adequate food and water.

Okay, now imagine you're in that tunnel but starving, and you have a piece of shrapnel in your eye, and you're shackled there, underground, for 493 days.

Then imagine you're starving, unable to stand, with that piece shrapnel in your eye but with another one in your shoulder, for 493 days.

Now imagine you are a spoiled rich kid who attends an expensive college and you're tired of getting high and watching movies and playing video games in your dorm and your roommate says hey let's go protest the Jews, they suck and are killing Palestinians, then we can go out for pizza afterwards. Here, hold up this sign.

Stupid Bowl Half-Time Cringe

All the professional music critics who A, want to keep their jobs and B, hope not to get gunned down on the street as they leave their homes at night wrote the same exact review this morning: "Last night's Super Bowl halftime show was historic! Kendrick Lamar shined! Kendrick Lamar made history! It was the best halftime show ever! The energy was palpable all through the stadium!" And more blah blah blah bullshit like that.

Meanwhile, the comments posted online by real people all said the same thing: Lamar sucked! Worst halftime show ever! Pure bull crap! Horrible! Unwatchable! Not music and not entertaining! Perfect bathroom break! Garbage! Etc., etc., etc.

Not being a professional music critic, I fall into the second category. I am a real person, and I was appalled. Also shocked, dismayed, depressed, stunned and disheartened. What the hell was all that? And how could anybody deem that chaotic, non-melodic shouting worthy of a Grammy? And a Pulitzer Prize? 

What's happened in our world that has led to interpreting the mean-spirited spittle of a bejeweled, crotch-grabbing, mumbling man-child as meaningful and groundbreaking? Was I missing the point? Since the lyrics were unintelligible I had to Google them and man, was I sorry. There were lots of "nigga this" and "nigga that." There were some references to prostitutes and pedophilia and guns and ghettos. A couple of knives. Not exactly a love song.

Lest you think I am a racist who hates black people, which sadly might be the case very soon, my favorite singers of all time include the following: Nat King Cole, Little Anthony, Johnny Mathis, Sade, Sam Cooke, Michael Jackson, Diana Ross, The Persuasions, The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, Ella Fitzgerald, Bob Marley and Tina Turner. You know, people who could sing.

Americans are obviously petrified of dissing an entire race of people. What else can explain it?

The TD Times Tells You What to Think

Today being Sunday we bit the bullet and spent six bucks to buy the New York Times, or as I think of it, the Trump Derangement Times. I like doing the crossword puzzle but my husband reads it all, insisting we keep up with "what the other side is saying," the other side being the Democrats since that is their newspaper of record. 

The odious Opinion section is a blatant reflection not only of what their editors and publisher think but of their readers as well, as their Letters to the Editor prove. Reading it every Sunday we always have conniption fits and today did not disappoint. I'll summarize a few of the articles for you, dear reader, and save you the trouble of wading through the garrulous muck:

"Welcome to a Nation Newly in Decline" - The U.S. is becoming a corrupt superpower under Donald Trump, and Elon Musk is the mastermind.

"We Are Watching America Capitulate To Trump" - Business leaders and university heads are going along with Donald Trump's plans only in order to save themselves.

"The Depth of the Trump Crisis is Coming Into Focus" - The incompetence of the Trump administration is an attack on the very foundation of America that will destroy the country.

"What This Moment Calls For" - Donald Trump is a chaotic dictator, Elon Musk is a loose cannon, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. will kill us all, and Attorney General Pam Bondi will destroy decades of progress in civil rights and criminalize transgenderism.

So there you have it -- the current talking points for Democrats this week. If you are so inclined, get out there and spread the news.

Another Super Bowl. Yawn.

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl.  Just like every year, I have no idea who's playing or where. And just like every year, I don't know why it's such a big deal. What I do know is what some of my friends are serving at their Super Bowl parties, none of which I will be attending.

The best menu I've heard, and one typical of this particular event, is that of my dear friend V. who lives in Florida. I spoke with her yesterday and she told me she's having a small gathering -- just eight people plus her and her husband. Doing some quick math, that's 10 mouths to feed! I would have started cooking two weeks ago for such a crowd, but V. is "keeping it simple." She will be serving pizza, ordered out so that's not too hard. Also, she will be making a fresh vegetable salad and, "Of course, nachos with cheese and chips" and a few other little pre-dinner nibbles. Guests are bringing chicken wings and some other salads, and a few desserts. Beer and wine will be served.

I have attended parties like hers in the past and have been amazed to see people focus more on the food than the game. There must be something about watching a bunch of fit athletes running around in tight uniforms and piling on top of one another every few seconds that makes people hungry.

Many fans claim they "watch it for the commercials," which cost advertisers from $7 million to over $8 million for a single, 30-second commercial, according to CNN. This price tag comes out to over $250,000 per second for the most expensive 30-second ads. To call that "ridiculous" is so understated as to be, well, ridiculous. For example, IV chemotherapy can cost from $5,000 to $50,000 for 6 months.

Then there is the much-touted half-time show, which almost always features a male black rapper grabbing his crotch while yelling to music or a female singer thrusting hers, barely covered, at the camera.

In the end the team that wins, however that happens, gets a trophy and all the players get giant, gaudy rings emblazoned with the number of the particular Super Bowl in Roman numerals. The next day they return to their home city where there is a big parade in their honor, with floats and a lot of hoopla.

Dumbest Congressperson Calls World's Richest Man "Unintelligent" and "Not Smart"

In case you have just awakened from a very long coma or recently arrived from another country, America's dumbest congressperson is a woman named Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She is 35 years old and represents a part of New York City you don't want to venture into alone at night. Or alone in the daytime. Or at night with someone else. Or venture into. 

Anyway, Alexandria's job just before getting elected was as a bartender, although to be fair she did attend college for four years and graduated. Her only asset is a really big mouth and she isn't afraid to use it, as the photos below and the headline above suggest. Her calling Elon Musk, who is clearly a genius, "dumb" certifies her as a moron, which is defined as a foolish or stupid person. While the term is obsolete and now considered to be offensive, exceptions can be always be made.

Musk Derangement Syndrome

Protester suffering from late-stage MDS.

You gotta hand it to the Democrats! Now that Trump Derangement Syndrome is on the decline, with at least half of all Americans applauding the actions of our new president to alleviate waste and fraud in government and block criminals coming into our country at formerly unprotected borders, they have invented a brand new disease that is sweeping the country: Musk Derangement Syndrome (MDS).

The symptoms of the two diseases are identical: blinding fear of change, disabling jealousy of the rich and crippling intolerance for differing points of view. Hopefully MDS will not spread to the same degree as TDS did, as the only hope for our country is for all of us to get behind the government and stop fighting progress.

Both Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Chuck Schumer have severe cases of the disease which has rendered both of them brain-damaged and seeing Nazis everywhere. Fingers crossed a cure will be found soon. 

Have A Nice Day! (Or Try.)

Some days I just lay in bed under the covers and cry for no reason. At least, no reason directly related to my own life. Rather it is for the failings of society at large, and for how many crazy people are running free that we might encounter at any moment, ruining everything. 

Some of these crazies are strangers to me, like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a 35-year-old nitwit congressperson who epitomizes the worst of DEI. Yesterday she declared Elon Musk, the world's richest man and a proven genius who has masterminded some of the most forward-thinking inventions and advances society has ever seen, "the dumbest billionaire" who is "very unintelligent" and "actually stupid." Her petulant outburst, aired repeatedly on the TV news and on the Internet, made me cringe and pull the covers up a little higher over my head.

I think of the doctors who operated on my friend for a cancerous tumor that did not exist. Twice. She is still in terrible pain and now they say oh wait a minute, there was cancer after all and we got it out, despite having told her after the first surgery that they missed it and would have to go back in to get it, then saying after the second surgery there was nothing there after all. I guess they lawyered up and now it was cancer, see we saved you! The covers go up a little higher. 

Then I think of all the people I have actually known who are dumb as rocks but don't know it, and so they go around spreading their stupidity like dandelions in the wind, telling people "statins are bad for you" or "an open bottle of red wine will keep in the refrigerator for up to a year" or "all penises are the same size when erect." (The last one was my gynecologist, many years ago.)

It's a scary world out there, and that's not including wars, natural disasters, mass murders, robo-calls, mental patients roaming the streets and poisons in our food. And still, everyone everywhere says, "Have a nice day!" As if you could.

You Too Can Be The Wizard of Oz

Thanks to the emergence of AI, in 2025 nothing is as it seems, at least online. The Internet, once a promising tool for good, has turned into a freak show for pornographers, Trump-haters, the morbidly obese and older women dead-set against showing signs of aging.

In the time it took for me to check my email, I saw a video of a huge fat woman dressed in a gold lame bodysuit shaking and shimmying her enormous breasts and stomach, her long golden hair flying wildly about her moon-face, who then suddenly morphed into a grotesque, lizard-like creature with gold scales covering her body, before turning back again into a human, although still grotesque.

Next I saw an ad featuring a pretty young woman who suddenly wasn't so pretty anymore. The voiceover said, "These two are the same photographs. Try it, you can change yours too." It was a free offer so I did. That's my original photo above; the altered me is shown at right.

What's the point? Will everyone be hidden behind their AI faces someday? Will reality become a thing of the past? Are we all destined to become The Man Behind the Curtain?

Film Review: THE LAND OF STEADY HABITS

This great movie is currently streaming on Netflix. It features outstanding acting and witty, authentic dialog, meaning the characters all sound real. There's no silly Hollywood fluff; instead it's a snapshot of real life set in a rich Connecticut town. (The title has something to do with that but nothing to do with the story so stop wondering.)

Ben Mendelsohn as Anders, couch-surfing in his condo.

Starring an Australian actor named Ben Mendelsohn, who deserves an Oscar just for his spot-on facial expressions, The Land of Steady Habits is by turns funny, sad and downright depressing, yet somehow uplifting when the tale is all told. 

He plays Anders, a 50-ish man in the midst of a messy mid-life crisis complicated by quitting his job where he made lots of money and divorcing his wife of many years, Helene (Edie Falco), for reasons we don't understand until the end. Lonely and looking for love, he finds it easily enough -- apparently every woman he meets finds him instantly irresistible -- but his poor performance in the bedroom sends them packing. 

Strong sub-plots involve Anders' 27-year-old son (Thomas Mann) fresh from rehab for alcoholism who is lost and unready for adulthood, and the family's best friends with a same-age son who is headed to rehab for drug abuse.

Nothing very out of the ordinary happens, which is why Anders is so blue most of the time: He sees a therapist, but when the shrink takes a phone call during one of their sessions, Anders is pissed off and walks out, taking an armload of expensive art books with him. A strained relationship with his son causes him angst, but he kicks the kid out of his rented condo anyway, hoping tough love works. Helene's planned remarriage to an old friend of theirs makes him angry. A visit to a strip club with a friend (Josh Pais) barely registers as he shoos away a naked babe who wants to give him a lap dance. 

It might all be boring in the hands of another director, but Nicole Holofcener makes it worthy of a re-watch, which I plan to do as soon as possible.

What to Feed A Starving Brain

Years ago when my son was in high school, one of his classmates said something that I laughed at back then but have since come to understand is the truth: Sam said he was "sick of reading books because he had plenty of his own thoughts."  At 16 that's a silly statement, since one virtually knows nothing, but as I grew older, the more I agreed with it. Soon enough I stopped reading novels altogether, except old favorites, because I understood they were just someone else's thoughts and I had my own!

But now, so many years later, I have grown tired of my own thoughts. They are used and stale and ceased being constructive long ago, yet they still run rampant through my brain. I'm ready for some new ones yet unsure of how to get any. I've tried surfing the internet but that's all just trash and lies. TV is of course a vast wasteland, and that's not something I thought up myself: Newton Minow, an American attorney who served as chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, is famous for his 1961 speech referring to television as a "vast wasteland," and he surely would know. As for podcasts, the cool new word for radio shows, they are just vehicles for egoists espousing their opinions in hopes of becoming rich and graduating to an "influencer," God help us please.

I might have to take a college course in something strange and unusual. Not sure what subject, but it definitely won't be The Music of Taylor Swift or The History of The Third Reich, two subjects that have lots of fans but turn me off. Until I find one I'm stuck inside my own head, which these days is not a pleasant place to be, crowded as it is with thoughts of Israeli hostages and Hamas terrorists and obese Americans having heart attacks and diabetes and Trump-haters whining and getting on everyone's nerves. 

Despite young Sam's declaration, I might have to rely on one of my favorite novels until I figure it out. Following is a list of books that never fail to spark and sparkle my brain, and possibly would do the same for yours.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Sweet Hereafter by Russell Banks

The Plague by Albert Camus

White Noise by Don DeLillo

Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton

A Shaggy Doc Story

If you need surgery and you live in Maine, get outta town! That's my advice after hearing what just happened to one of my closest friends. I'm not naming names, except for the hospital where this sordid story occurred, and that was at Maine Med as the locals call it, or Maine Medical Center if we are being formal. 

Three days ago my friend, let's call her Jane Doe, went there at five in the morning for surgery to remove a cancerous tumor in her abdomen. She underwent the surgery and woke up in severe pain. Despite the boatload of pain meds she was given, Jane distinctly heard her surgeon say, "We got it" before drifting happily back to la-la land.

The following morning the same doc showed up with bad news: "Actually, we didn't get it." She said, you mean you didn't get it all? He said, "We didn't get any of it. We missed it. We removed a cyst that was benign. We'll have to go back in." 

The next day Jane was wheeled into the OR for another opportunity to have her abdomen ripped open. This time they were going to "really get it!" and would use some sort of sonar equipment to be extra-sure. After recovering from a five-hour surgery, Jane woke up to good news: "Guess what, we never found any cancer. There was no tumor after all." But, but, but....

What about the biopsy? What about the Pet Scan? What made you think there was a tumor in the first place? Oh, they took pictures and a biopsy at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Brigham Center, the leading cancer center in New England and ranked #5 in the country, and they figured they knew what they were talking about.  

The end? Maybe not.