The Travel Bug Hasn't Bitten Me

I just received a belated Christmas Letter from a friend who explains she was late sending it out because she was traveling and gives the details: January in Mexico and NYC; May in Sicily; June in Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania; July in Germany; August and September staycation at her Maine island home; November the Dominican Republic; and December in Argentina and Antarctica.

No spring chicken, this particular friend has undergone two knee replacements and a couple of hips too, yet somehow she has the energy, stamina and will, whereas I had to take a lorazepam just from reading her letter. In fact, planning for my upcoming week-long trip to Florida in early March already keeps me up at night.

Travel has become a nightmare, plain and simple. If you can spare a few hours of your day you may eventually book an affordable plane ticket, but can you afford those necessary extras: a seat and your luggage? Yup, those'll cost you. And forget creature comforts: pillows, blankets, food and even a TV screen on which to watch a movie are now all part of history. And don't forget your earphones or you'll have to buy those on the plane. As for civility, unruly passengers are becoming commonplace, so pack bandages in case someone punches you in the nose for asking their kid to stop kicking the back of your seat.

Cruises might be fun if you can spare an arm and a leg, and if your idea of a vacation is relaxing with 6,000 other people including children and pets, aboard a floating theme park/Vegas nightclub/shopping mall that could sink. Or you might just get seasick and throw up a lot.

Instead, I vacation at home. Today's agenda includes three healthy meals that will be delicious and not cold, plenty of coffee and snacks available without waiting on any lines, and fun activities like hot-tubbing after an afternoon facial and workout in the basement gym. There will be excursions into Portland and South Portland, dinner at home with a friend and an evening show of my choosing. Plus no worry about cancellations, delays, crying babies and mean-spirited flight attendants making me take my seat when I get up to stretch my legs or need to use the bathroom.

The best part is that it's all free! (Excursions extra.)