The R-Word

We now have in our Congress two Muslim ladies, Rep. Ilhan Omar and Rep. Rashida Tlaib, who do little more than spew hatred about America, which is certainly not what you want to hear from your very own government officials. But if you react negatively about anything they say you will be deemed "a racist," which these days is just about the worst thing you can be. The only thing worse is being a racist with a capital R.

Racism is defined as "the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races." I certainly agree with that statement, which explains how Kenyan runners win every marathon and why Jews are so smart but feel guilty about everything, so I guess I am a racist. However, these days just about any little thing can make you a racist.

For God's sake don't wear one of these!

For example, if you are white and have no black friends you are a racist. If you think women in hijabs or burqas are scary, you are a racist. If you are white, if your parents and grandparents and kids are white, if you live in the American south, if you believe America is a great country, if you put your hand over your heart during the singing of the national anthem, if you didn't like the Obamas and still don't, if rap music isn't your thing, if you don't eat soul food, if you think Al Sharpton is a fool, if you want Maxine Waters to shut up already, if you own a gun, if you voted for any Republican ever in any election, if you once dressed up like Michael Jackson for Halloween, if you stay or have ever stayed at a Trump hotel, if you want illegal immigration to be stopped, if you think a barrier at our southern border is a good idea, if you ever hired a Mexican gardener or Latino nanny, if you wish Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would go back to mixing drinks, if you own or display a Betsy Ross flag, if you're a Jew and you enjoy your Jewish friends the most, if you're not a Jew and have no Jewish friends, if you think it's silly to tear down statues of Civil War generals and paint out murals depicting our history with Native Americans, if you still call them Indians, if you have no problem with the Redskins being called the Redskins, if you don't hate Donald Trump and his wife, children and grandchildren with every fiber of your being, and if you sincerely want to make America great again, then clearly you are a racist.

The only fix for being a racist is to admit you are scum and start over.  One way is to vote Democratic in every election. Another is to always carry hot sauce in your purse or pocket in case you end up having an impromptu meal with a black person.