Job-Hunting in Maine

In an ongoing effort to "give back" to the community, not to mention get out of the house once in awhile lest I forget how to conduct myself in the presence of others, I have once again scheduled a meeting with an organization that is looking for volunteers.  This one seems right up my alley, as they want people who can teach youngsters ages 6 to 18 how to write. Let's face it, I can write, and I do have years of teaching experience. SO WHAT COULD GO WRONG?  Just a few possibilities follow, based on my past experiences as an interviewee in the great state of Maine. (Parenthesis indicate the actual organization where the thing really happened.)

1. I will get to the appointment on time but nobody will be there and the place will be locked up tight. (Portland Magazine)

2. I will get to the appointment on time, be kept waiting for half an hour, get pissed off and leave before I ever see anyone. (Estabrook's Garden Center)

3. I will arrive on time and find that the interviewer is not ready for me and asks me to wait. I will then be ushered into a hallway where there is no chair for me to sit on. The interviewer's 6-year-old granddaughter will remain for the duration of the interview and complain that she is bored. (Wilbur's Chocolates)

4. I will be interviewed with a group of seven other people by two women simultaneously and asked to "role play" a variety of scenarios, like being trapped on a desert island with the other people, causing me to sigh audibly, roll my eyes and not get the job. (L.L. Bean Retail Store) 

5. I will be asked to do something demeaning and unnecessary, as when I was ordered to push a candy cart around and around the pediatric wing of a hospital, stopping to offer a variety of fun-sized candies to the doctors and nurses, for three hours. (Barbara Bush Children's Hospital, Maine Medical Center)

6. I will be asked to do something annoying and stupid, like when I walked around a hospital knocking on the doors of sick people and asking if they liked the food. (Mid-Coast Hospital, Brunswick) 

7. The interviewer will take one look at me and decide I am just too old to be of any use. (Brunswick Food Pantry) 

8. The interviewer will take one look at me and decide I am just too Jewish to have around. (Casco Bay YMCA, Freeport)

Finger's crossed that today will work out better!