A Bad Book with Some Good Shit

Read this book if you can stand it.

Perhaps the lowest form of human interaction can be found in the comment streams on Facebook between people who have never met, will never meet, have no impact on one another's lives and thus matter not one whit. It's a dangerous minefield full of crazies, lunatics, maniacs, psychopaths and, just a guess, a lot of morbidly obese housebound fatties. Today I mistakenly entered that world, which is  akin to mistakenly stepping into a giant pile of dog shit. You don't see it coming but then there it is, and it's damned hard to get rid of.

I had ordered a book on nutrition that was recommended to me by one of my cardiac rehab nurses. Despite the title of How to Use Your Pie-Hole, a dubious choice at best, I went ahead and got it since I've been floundering like a fish out of water over whether or not to be vegan, vegetarian, or use the Mediterranean Diet, all in the hopes of avoiding a second heart attack somewhere down the line. Here are a few excerpts from the book:

"I don't want to sound like a complete fuckwad here and say that drugs are complete crap."
Chapter 34: "Where the Fuck Do I Find Real Food?"
"Chances are you are confused as fuck about what you should put in your pie-hole."
"STOP FUCKING WITH THE FOOD SYSTEM AND TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO USE THEIR MOTHERFUCKING PIE-HOLES."
"Can you honestly say the food industry doesn't confuse the fuck out of you?"
"Stop shoving useless shit down your throat."
"Don't waste your money on getting fake-ass nutrients out of a bottle."
"Punch that shit right back and get the fuck outta dodge."
"It's going to piss me the fuck off if I hear one more person talking about fats or carbs."

But the absolute worst was this: "You're going to love this next tid bit." That did it it! What kind of person thinks tidbit is two words? I also found "they'res" instead of "theirs," which was a first for me and is definitely a contender for my Top 10 Worst Grammatical Errors. Didn't the book have an editor?

So I contacted the author on her Facebook page and told her I found her constant use of foul language distractingly detrimental to my absorption of the information, which I desperately need since I had a heart attack two months ago. This caused some third party to unleash a stream of invective at me for daring to criticize the author, beginning by saying that he couldn't believe I had a heart attack in the first place since didn't you need a heart to have one, and I obviously can't possibly have one because I said what I said.

The unsolicited commenter (the author's husband?) went on and on, calling me immature, a bitch, etc. I hit Reply and said in no uncertain terms that he is a butt-licking, motherfucking asshole and he should just shut his pie-hole and crawl back under whatever rock he came from. (See what I mean?) Anyway, there's some good information to be gleaned from this piece of shit book, so if you're into gleaning you might want to check it out.