He Touched Me

Imagine you are an actress nobody ever heard of. You're desperately trying to get yourself noticed in these crazy, actress-ful times. What to do, what to do? Claiming Harvey Weinstein sexually assaulted you is so last week, who cares. And besides, he assaulted stars so much bigger than you. Think, think, there must be something....

Got it! You could say that the former president, George H. W. Bush, well into his dotage and confined to a wheelchair, sexually assaulted you four years ago but you never spoke up until now because A, you thought your career would be further along by now or B, you never knew what happened could be considered sexual assault but since almost everything is these days, it counts! What he did was "touch you from behind" during a photo session, with his wife standing right next to him, and also told you a "dirty joke." That ought to get some traction!

So it did, and it's in the news today, but darned if I know what that girl's name is or what she ever acted in. However I certainly hope she is getting some therapy for what must have been a very traumatic experience.