Beware of False Claims

Read any good fiction lately? I have. Recently I stumbled upon a new author while I was grocery shopping. Here's an excerpt from his “Box of Hot Cocoa” that was so compelling, I bought some:

“Stir up some instant decadence with this velvety-smooth Hot Cocoa and savor the rich chocolate taste you expect from Ghirardelli. This harmonious blend brings together quality ingredients, including premium cocoa powder and semi-sweet chocolate chips. Mix with milk for a more decadent hot cocoa!”

And just what goes into such a decadent brew? Turns out it's sugar, cocoa processed with alkali, coconut oil, corn syrup solids, sodium caseinate, mono and diglycerides, dipotassium phosphate (prevents caking), soy lecithin (an emulsifier), tetrasodium pyrophosphate, polysorbate 60, whey, nonfat dry milk, semi-sweet chocolate chips, salt, cellulose gum, natural and artificial flavor and silicon dioxide to prevent caking.

Somewhat disappointed, I forced myself to look beyond my lifelong prejudice against ingesting chemicals and reasoned that the true test of any food is taste. After carefully following the recipe (add hot water while stirring), I presented a cup to my neighbor’s visiting 5-year-old granddaughter. She sipped, grimaced, and said, "This stuff is gross. Don't you have any real hot chocolate?"

My point exactly.

One area where fiction runs rampant is the wild world of hair products. Just the other day I agonized over three conditioners, each promising results I pined for: Brand A offered, "Natural, organic herbs and botanicals that will leave your hair feeling luxuriously soft and silky, with radiant shine. Not tested on animals." Brand B extolled the virtues of, "Apple pectin and creamy-rich buttermilk blended to naturally thicken, moisturize and restore healthy shine. Leaves hair feeling luxurious, silky and manageable." Brand C claimed to be, "A polymerized electrolytic moisture potion that transports moisture into the innermost structure of the hair, leaving it pliable, smooth and velvety with a natural luster. Never tested on animals." What’s not to like about all of them?

After much deliberation I finally went with Brand B because the other two hadn't been tested on animals, making me wonder just who they are testing it on. Could it be me? (Sorry, but I'd rather have the bunny go blind.) FYI, my hair remained un-luxurious, un-silky and decidedly unmanageable despite their copywriter's soaring prose. I’m thinking after my next shampoo I might try dumping on some of that Ghirardelli cocoa which at the very least should prevent caking.