Call 1-800-KIL-LFLO

That Flo is out of control. She is now everywhere. Worst of all, she has invaded my only sanctuary from real life, Words With Friends on Facebook. That is a low blow. There is her stupid ugly face, next to the "word of the day." Like I need Flo to tell me what "glee" means. And those horrid TV ads have expanded into mini-dramas, where Flo plays all sorts of other characters dressed in crazy outfits.

Somehow this idiotic spokeswoman is employed to sell car insurance for the Progressive insurance people. Instead it makes me hope the company goes bankrupt and that someone with guts and drive, possibly a newly-impoverished stockholder, takes out a contract on Flo, since I could never personally be involved in anything violent, besides screaming and throwing dishes.

But hear this: If that dumb bitch comes anywhere near me, I will finally get some use out of all those fancy Dresden china Passover dishes -- service for eight -- my parents left to me, one dinner plate, salad plate, dessert plate, soup bowl, tea cup, saucer, soup tureen, gravy bowl, meat serving platter, smaller serving platter and covered vegetable dish at at a time.