The Scary, Growing, Unstoppable IOE

It's tough to be proud of our species when you see what some of them are doing. The liars and swindlers become the authorities, making self-serving laws and leading us into battle wherein many of us are killed or just scarred for life. The pretty ones become the preeners, allowing the plainer among us to gawk at them for a fee. The smart ones become the scientists and engineers, and while they are admittedly several cuts above everyone else, still they do strike the occasional sour note.

In the "How-Could-They?" department, scientists in Australia have been busy breeding mice with Alzheimer's in order to test possible cures that might work in humans. That sucks for the mice, but since they are too small to amass armies they have little chance to defend themselves -- and even less now that their brains are addled. As for the engineers, those best and brightest we count on to save mankind from destruction, they have already created an Internet-connected crock pot you can control from the other side of the world, in case you are in Beijing and you want that pot roast ready for dinner back home in Kansas City. After all, you'll be craving normal food after weeks of pickled Chinese iris with blood-filled pig's intestines and fried dog soup.

Besides the crock pot, the new Apple iWatch slated for delivery on April 24 promises to be the next sure sign of man's declining intellect. It's a tiny computer/phone/video game/music device/heart monitor/calorie counter/link to the Internet that one can wear on one's wrist should one already be a complete asshole or simply aspire to be one. If you ask me it's pathetic, in that you actually have to go to all the trouble of strapping it on every day. Why not  have it implanted, like a pacemaker? It could schedule your bowel movements and pee breaks so you wouldn't have to miss a minute of "House of Cards" or "Downtown Abbey." Now that would be the Internet of Everything (IOE).