I know what you're thinking: "Uh oh, look out." I can't blame you, since the only time loners make the news is when they go on shooting sprees, like earlier this week at an Ohio high school. Naturally, that 17-year-old shooter was described as a loner. Loners have bad reputations because of this. Everyone who ever did anything remotely nutty is said to have been a loner. Hitler for sure. The guy who shot John Lennon. This is unfair. I know many friendly people who are almost never alone, yet are still quite batty and prone to violence.
Personally, I have never shot anyone. I have never owned a gun or held a gun or wanted a gun or wanted to shoot anyone. In fact, these days I hardly ever see anyone to shoot--that's how alone I am most of the time. What I do instead is paint lovely pictures and glue beads onto things (see photo) and paint furniture. All that is hardly newsworthy, although if I were not a loner these things would never get done. That's the side of loner life you never hear about.
The worst thing about being a loner is that there's nobody to share it with. There's no Loner's Club or Loner.com. This is a bit of a drag, since it would be nice to compare notes every once in awhile with others of my ilk on how they spend their time. So I may start a club for loners. We won't have meetings--I'm thinking weekly, but maybe monthly if not having them weekly is too burdensome. There will not be a magazine or any dues. Membership will be completely private. In fact, I may already have a lot of members and just not know.
1) This is pretty funny . . .the first paragraph is right on
ReplyDelete2) I trust you not to shoot anyone
3) See ya tomorrow sweetie . . . I like butting in on your lonesomeness . . . at least there is (occasionally) me
You are a most eloquent and creative loner. Very beautiful beading. And the few times I have had the pleasure of your company, an interesting and engaged conversationalist.
DeleteIt seems there may be some weird, unconscious bias in our American-ness to think of "Loner" with a negative edge, though based only in peoples subjective interpretation. I think I have heard recently about a book about this-I will check it out.
For me, the word Loner conjures images in my mind of a slim, silvery wolf, watching warily. I am personally a little afraid of wolves, since they are one of the few mammals who kill when they are not hungry. My brain puts it differently, a person who prefers their own company may have low social needs. They might be intolerant of the nonsense and bullshit that makes up a lot of our human interactions. Or they might be avoiding the unavoidable hurt that accompanies relating. And I have been doing a lot of serious thinking about this subject over the last few weeks in relation to my oldest-who until recently I believed was a true extrovert.
Maine can be a very tough place to make, create and sustain relationships. Many people have huge extended families and do not have the room in their heart or time in their schedules. And I think many Mainers are loners and more comfortable in their own environment, with their own company. A club for loners is a very good idea since those of us who are extroverted tend to monopolize conversations. Take care of yourself, Andrea.
Liz, thanks so much fro your supportive and, as usual, beautifully written comment. I appreciate your input and feel better about my plight! I look forward to seeing you again, somehow....
ReplyDeleteAndrea:
ReplyDeleteI love that idea of a Loners Anonymous where we could get together once a month (any more would be pushing it). I've always been a loner. Often I cite Thoreau's line: "Of all my companions, I prefer solitude," or something to that effect. I've become such a loner that I went on my 25th wedding anniversary alone--and had a better time. I'd like to get together with others for a short period, but I tend to not meet people I'd like to spend time with. It seems to be such work. And what about going shopping with friends? I have ADD and can barely function shopping alone.
That's all for now. I'll check in again. It's nice to know there are others marching to the tune of a different drum. A Massachusetts writer
Dear Massachusetts writer:
DeleteGreat to hear from you! Do check in again, and let's get started on being loners together.
I agree that there should be a loners website.Almost like a brother/sisterhood.We need support like everyone else and have as much right to.
ReplyDeleteOkay so I came across this pretty late..but is their a site where loners can just chat about random stuff,hopefully around empathizing people?
ReplyDeleteI wish! That's a great idea, maybe we should start on?
DeleteAhh! My tribe. I spend my days growing my own food and making art and bushwalking. Love my life. Ocasionally i turn up at a social do like a trivia night or a fair just for fun. Mostly I just play and paint and enjoy my music. Life is gr8.
ReplyDeleteHello family. This is where i belong. With the Hermits. I spend my days growing my own food. Walking in the forests, painting and meditating and enjoying all the beautiful music. Occasionally I drop in to a social event for fun.. but am content and happy by myself.
ReplyDeleteSo, seriously, let's get this done. I'm a willing participant. Local chapters, maybe.
ReplyDelete