Saint Andrea's Faults

Aerial view of the San Andreas Fault

This morning I got pissed off and declared that I would no longer be writing this blog. The post in which I declared that has been deleted--by me--because I can. I can write a new one saying the same thing, then I can delete that one too. That's the great thing about a blog, you can do whatever the hell you want and nobody can stop you! It's quite cool.

Anyway, I heard from some of my dear friends who said they actually do read my blog and would miss it, and that made me feel better and think perhaps I would continue. There was also a comment from that sneaky old coward, Anonymous, who said the trouble with my blog is that I don't see all the things that are wrong with me and that "it gets tiresome." Who knew? I always feel as if I am quite self-deprecating on a regular basis, but apparently not enough to please some folks. So, following is a list of my faults; feel free to point out anything I omitted:

1. I am very judgmental about people. I really hate anyone who is stupid, has a limited vocabulary, talks incessantly without checking if you are interested or even listening, does not keep up with the news, watches reality TV seriously and not as a hoot, goes to every movie as soon as it is released thinking that makes them cool, and believes what they read in the paper.
2. I use food as a drug and eat not only when I am hungry but when I am sad or angry too. Fortunately this is not too often so I am not too fat.
3. I am unabashedly disdainful of the obese. This comes from a childhood of mental and physical abuse by a morbidly obese person, my older sister. I spent many years in therapy dealing with this problem, but then my shrink died and I still hate very fat people.
4. I do not see addictions as a disease and so I am harshly unsympathetic towards alcoholics, drug addicts and cigarette smokers. I smoked for 40 years myself and never once thought I had a disease, I thought I liked to smoke.
5. I get bored easily and so lose interest in projects and people sooner than might be expected or desired.
6. I hate small talk and bullshit and thus am frightening to many people who are afraid to hear anything close to the truth about life, death, and especially death.
7. I hate parties that aren't fun. If you throw a party, then you'd better serve good food, adjust the lighting, provide good music and invite interesting guests. I don't want to drive over just to eat your chips and dip and sit around in a deadly silent room making small talk with boring people who never ask me one question because they are either too meek or too self-absorbed to wonder about anyone else.
8. I talk too loudly in public and don't care what strangers think of me. (My son hates this.)