A Recipe for Disaster, Y'all

It may look easy what with so many people being overweight these days, but believe me--it takes concentrated effort to get fat and stay that way. Paula Deen can help.

If you get a chance, just watch a snippet of her TV cooking show, y'all. Right away you notice that she's fat, and then you notice that she's southern, y'all, and she says "y'all" so often that y'all will want to find out where she is and go there and put a bullet through her head. Fight the urge. I am not calling for Paula Deen's assassination, y'all. (Keith Olbermann is a different story.)

Paula's unique skill is making people even fatter than they could make themselves without her expertise. In this way she is very similar to the Barefoot Contessa, another tubby TV cook who thinks no recipe cannot be improved by adding a stick of butter. Today I watched Paula demonstrate, along with her equally "y'alling" Aunt Peggy, how Aunt Peggy makes the very same sweet potato souffle that has been a favorite of Paula's for 62 years, and it shows. It is this relatively simple but nauseating recipe I share with you here, y'all:

Boil and then mash a few super-healthy sweet potatoes--high in fiber, rich in antioxidants and only 103 calories each--and transform them into a diabetic's worst nightmare by adding the following:
1 stick butter, melted
1 cup of granulated sugar
1/2 cup whole milk
3 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. vanilla
pinch of salt
Pour mixture into a casserole.

Combine and crumble on top:
4 oz. (1/2 stick) butter, cubed
1/2 cup self-rising cake flour
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup chopped pecans

Bake 25 minutes in a 400 degree oven.
Throw up.