Today's News

My car is stuck in my driveway, in the rain and frozen slush and snow that is Maine in almost-March. I cannot go anywhere, possibly until the spring thaw which around these parts comes sometimes as late as almost-May. I went online to search "tires stuck in snowbank" and all I found was pictures of Charlie Sheen, a druggie sitcom star who earns two million per episode and lives with porn stars and has five children. He allegedly has a briefcase full of cocaine and does TV interviews wherein he says he is a godlike persona. He famously trashed his room at the Plaza Hotel last year. News of his deconstructing life is everywhere you turn.

But my car being stuck is so much more important than Charlie Sheen! To me, of course, but that's life; each of us has a story with Me in the lead role. My supporting actor in today's episode was Vince, our plow guy, who came to clear our driveway but of course could not because my car was in it. He was very nice, very helpful, with a big pot belly but fleet on his feet nonetheless. He sized up the situation, threw sand everywhere and then pushed the car while I drove it in reverse. That made me nervous, reminding me of a horrible high-school tragedy wherein Emily someone and her boyfriend were in the parking lot of the Lynbrook Movie Theater, and somehow he pinned her to the brick wall while she was waving him into or out of a parking space. One of them was horribly disfigured and the other one went crazy, or something like that; remember this was almost 50 years ago.

So I told Vince to forget it and he left without plowing and now it's all a stuck mess and will freeze that way. But at least nobody was hurt.