Whoopies in the News

A whoopie pie is a little cake sandwich about the size of a hamburger bun, usually chocolate, that is filled with cream or marshmallow. It is currently caught in the middle of a custody battle between Pennsylvania and Maine, both claiming to have originated the repulsive treat. Maine is at this very moment rushing to pass legislation naming it as the state dessert, hoping to wrest the honor from Pennsylvania, which claims it as the creation of a local Amish woman a hundred years ago. Coincidentally, both states are also in competition for the title of Most Obese Population.

Whoopi Goldberg is feeling dissed because some article in the New York Times about Oscar-winning blacks omitted her. You may have forgotten, and who could blame you, that she won an Oscar for a supporting role in "Ghost" back in 1992. My son was five that year; he is now 23. The star, Patrick Swayze, has been dead for some time now. And Whoopi thinks this omission on the part of the Times is an example of racism when really it is just an insult to her talent: Who thinks of Whoopi Goldberg and Oscar-winning performances at the same time?

I have never liked Whoopi and it has nothing to do with her skin color, it is based on three things and three things only: her dumb name, her lack of talent and her huge ego.  She said on "The View," the daytime TV show with all the women who sit around gossiping about celebrities, "I know it's hard to believe, but I'm a worldwide person who's known." She's right about that--it is hard to believe.

I have lived in Maine for two years now and have never eaten a whoopie pie, although many people have nagged me to try one. It's that dumb name again. Not appealing.