Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Jungle Bells

Just when you think advertising--and mankind-- has sunk to the lowest point possible, another commercial comes out to alert us that we're not there yet but we're well on the way. This year, the nutty folks over at Kmart are reminding us that Christmas, once a holy celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the son of God, is nothing more than a cruel hoax to sell more crap nobody needs.

No longer anything remotely religious, until now the holiday has at least retained overtones of wholesomeness, bringing to mind steaming cups of cocoa shared with family and friends around a cheery fireplace, expressions of kindness and charity with those bell-ringing Salvation Army folks, and general "Ho-ho-ho-ing" among family and friends. Those days are over.

Circa 2013, Kmart's bell-ringers are a squad of hunky, half-dressed men sporting colorful boxer shorts, twerking (rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter) their bottoms in time to the tune, "Jingle Bells," and reminding us that--Christmas or not--it's a jungle out there.

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