Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Old and the Limber

(FYI: I am done with Dumpy, Lumpy and Frumpy, the Freeport ladies, and I certainly hope they all stay away from here from now on.)

Sometime last week I agreed to have one of the original hips that has been with me since birth replaced with a fake one made of titanium or carbon steel or something shiny like that, not sure what it is, but I know that it will definitely trigger the alarms at airport security. At least that should be fun. Anyway, I am not doing it until after I wear this one out completely schlepping around Barcelona in December, so it's next year's problem. Of course I can always back out and maybe I will unless I can convince myself that it is not against God and nature to replace worn out body parts in your very own body. Seems wrong somehow. Also, I wish it would at least show--like if I am going under the knife, why not at least look better when I wake up, like maybe get a facelift? Is getting a new hip any less vain and self-indulgent?

This year alone, 300,000 Americans got new hips installed. Our kids can't read or do math, but the oldsters are running marathons. Go figure.

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