Thursday, March 15, 2012

So Little Time, So Much Dumb Stuff to Do

This morning I learned of an Internet game that has gone viral, called simply The Cinnamon Challenge. In case you are fortunate enough to not know, it consists of a person attempting to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon without benefit of water and without vomiting. Apparently it is quite tough and exceedingly dangerous; aspirating the powder into the lungs can land you in the hospital with pneumonia, liver damage, or worse. Yet hundreds of teens--at least I hope it's teens- are taking the dare and posting videos of themselves doing it on YouTube. Interested in how this latest phenom started, I did a little research and found that there are more such challenges out there among the future leaders of tomorrow, involving such things as drinking a gallon of milk in one sitting, eating six Saltines in a minute--again, no beverage-- and consuming two bananas and a liter of Sprite all at once. The "challenge" is to not vomit, or die. (Surprisingly, the Milk Challenge is reported to be the worst in terms of making a mess.)

For those humans who still have functioning brain cells, I suggest other challenges that might increase one's intellect, at the same time boosting one's self-esteem and standing in the community. For those who insist on being moronic, I offer dumb versions of the task in parentheses:
1. Read all of "Ulysses" (in Esperanto)
2. Learn a musical instrument (that is edible)
3. Create a self-portrait (out of baked beans)
4. Write a blog (about Nancy Pelosi's good qualities)
5. Listen to opera (without falling asleep)

It's not like kids haven't always been dumb, but at least those phone booths couldn't kill you.

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