The Snake Pit in 2020

Me on my first day in office.....

According to a report in today's Washington Post, which considering the source may or may not be true, just about everyone who's anyone is planning to throw his or her hat or other article of clothing -- God knows what will be acceptable by then, perhaps a thong? -- into the 2020 presidential ring, convinced as they all are that the election of Donald Trump clearly indicates that anything goes. (This may be the worst thing Donald Trump has accomplished thus far.)

Early contenders include America's favorite narcissist Oprah Winfrey, actor Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, rich guys Mark Zuckerberg and Mark Cuban, and senior citizens Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders (they should live so long).

I want to state here and now, unequivocally and for the record, that I for one am NOT planning to run for president in 2020. In fact, I would rather do anything else. I will sweep streets in Calcutta. I will neuter cattle. I will give tours of Auschwitz. I'll be a rabbi in Palestine. Heck, I'll teach sixth grade in the Salt Lake City Public Schools.....whatever. Just don't make me be the leader of the free world.