I was confused. Sure, Donald Trump has been called many things, most of which are not very nice words to call someone, but how can "loser" be one of them? I mean, the guy beat Hillary Clinton, the undisputed Queen of the Democrats who have been preparing for her coronation since the last presidential election, and is about to become our 45th president. He won the election, so doesn't that make him a winner, or does loser mean something else now, like bad means good and ill means awesome and gay has nothing to do with mood?
Suspecting that this was yet another example of how far behind the times I have fallen, beginning with my decision to not get a Twitter account several years ago, I fairly flew to the Urban Dictionary and found that "loser" now has many definitions, and hardly any of them pertain to coming in last. Here are just a few I found, some of which may or may not apply to our incoming president:
1. The top definition was "A dumb bitch who uses the wrong hand to make the "L" symbol on her forehead." So essentially, someone who becomes a loser while busy pointing out someone else as a loser. Not sure why it's a dumb bitch, though; couldn't this also apply to a male? Or even a transgender?
2. A person who has fallen off the social ladder, climbed down the social ladder, jumped off the social ladder, or just never bothered to climb the social ladder in the first place. (Definitely not Trump since he is clearly at the top of the ladder and has been for most of his life. He may have even built the ladder.)
3. Someone who generally sucks at life. (Again, not Trump.)
4. Really cool people who are unique. (Not Trump, but possibly me.)
5. A stereotypical term for one who doesn't fit into mainstream society, or is lacking friends. "Losers" are usually really funny, unique, or smart individuals who people refuse to befriend in fear that they themselves might be labeled a "loser." (Everyone I admire.)
6. A toxic person who, despite having many opportunities to succeed in life, consistently makes bad choices which result in professional and personal failure. They usually end up dragging everyone near them into the loser culture, which makes them toxic. The key to identifying a loser is the consistency with which they make bad decisions and their inability to learn from, admit to, and correct their mistakes. Narcissism and low self-esteem are hallmark personality characteristics of a loser. (Hillary Clinton.)
7. Someone doomed to fail. (Uh-oh, do we have a winner?)
Anyway, the thing to bear in mind, especially if you see yourself in one of these definitions, is that Albert Einstein was thought of as a loser when he was young, but was really just unique and slightly autistic. He ended up being one of our most revered scientists and everybody in the world knows his name. So there.
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