Enough With the Munchkins Already

There's nothing like a good cry to start the day. That and a steaming cup of black coffee. Throw in a Lorazepam and some oatmeal and I'm good to go. At least that combo used to work, before things got so ugly out there. But lately I'm feeling I might need to add something to my morning mix, like maybe some earplugs and a paper bag over my head, you know, to drown out all the caterwauling.

What I don't get is why the heat is turned up so high concerning the election of Trump (now fairly old news), his impending inauguration (a legal matter and really none of our business), and the recent babbling of a Hollywood actress, causing all the little people to blow their tops on Facebook and throughout the media. Why not just relax and enjoy the show?

When I hear all the bluster I am most reminded of that scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy is about to set off for The Emerald City. She plants her sparkly red shoes firmly on the yellow brick road, which is pretty damn easy to spot, we can all agree. And the instructions she's given by Glinda the Witch are as straightforward as Mapquest: "Follow the yellow brick road!"

A Munchkin helpfully pointing out the obvious to Dorothy.

So off Dorothy goes, that yellow brick road fairly glowing ahead of her, and yet after every few steps she takes one of those odd Munchkins pops up and shouts, "Follow the yellow brick road!" as if he's spouting pearls of wisdom. Dorothy ventures a few feet forward and suddenly there's another little Munchkin, again directing her to "follow the yellow brick road" like he just thought of it himself and wanted to clarify the situation. Meanwhile, Dotty's probably thinking, "Yeah, buddy, thanks for the tip but I got this."

That's how I see all those "helpful" Democrats who keep popping up every few feet and spouting all the same things, thinking they're helping to clarify the situation with their very own pearls of wisdom when really it's all just in their scripts and by now they've learned their lines well. In fact, so well that now everyone knows their lines: Trump's a racist, misogynist, Islamaphobe, xenophobe, pussy-grabbing, ignoramus, reality TV star, Hitler, gone bankrupt, what about his taxes, she won the popular vote. Did I leave anything out?

I don't know about you but I'm ready for a scene change. And I'm really ready for a new director. And enough with the Munchkins already.