Looking at pictures on Facebook of so many people, some of them actual friends of mine, out partying and having fun, naturally I wonder what's wrong with me since I do almost none of that, spending most of my time alone when my husband is out of town (which he is quite often), reading books on meditation or trying and failing to really meditate, doing laundry and shopping for groceries, cleaning the house when it's absolutely necessary, watching the chaos of the outside world on television, making art almost nobody will ever see, writing this blog or some silly little thing for pay or weeping about the fact that I spend so much of my time alone.
But then I remember that really I'm all I've got in the end and so it's important to develop a good relationship with myself, and that while having fun with others is all fine and good, enjoying my own company is better.
And then I feel better.
This reminds me of the 8 years I volunteered in the ER at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Beverly Hills. I saw the rich, famous, and the infamous in the worst possible scenarios. But one day, I worked Monday evenings, on a day I was not there the staff told me someone very famous was brought in and he died. He was alone except for the paramedics. I hope he too had a great relationship with himself. He was Frank Sinatra.
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