The Best Medicine?

Because of my abnormally high blood pressure readings that began two weeks ago, I now find myself adrift in a sea world of doctors and diagnostic tests and dosages, and it's no fun. It's certainly not funny, and so I should probably stop right now and choose another topic since this is ostensibly a humor blog. But what? Politics? That's worse. The sad truth is that we as a society are running out of funny things, unless you think that peeing into a jar for 24 hours is a laugh riot.

When all is bleak and nothing seems humorous, I turn to my Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book for some help. I figure if it's good enough for Garrison Keillor, it's good enough for me. Besides, a recent University of Maryland study found that a sense of humor actually can protect against heart disease. Who knows--maybe one of the following jokes will save your life.

"Doctor, something's wrong! I'm shrinking!"
"Take it easy sir, you'll just have to be a little patient."

How many performance artists does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, I left at intermission.

This duck walks into a drugstore and says, "Gimme some Chapstick-- and put it on my bill."

What do you say to a hitchhiker with one leg?
"Hop in."

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible but the reception was great.

What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler.

If the black box survives a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of the stuff?

Two penguins are standing on an iceberg. One penguin says to the other, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin replies, "So who says I'm not?"

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.