There's a new kind of frying pan that's called a "flip pan" that will apparently revolutionize your life, or at least your cooking prowess. The heat doesn't just stay on the bottom of the pan, so your food turns out better. (I do this by stirring, but perhaps this means you no longer have to stir, freeing you up to do more important things, like finally reading War and Peace.) The Flip Pan comes in lots of fun colors, although the very popular "Mint Green" is sold out but will be available again soon, they promise.
Today is the Wisconsin Primary, which will definitely be a deciding factor in the outcome of the 2016 election, just like every one of the past primaries was supposed to be but were not. All the usual suspects are hanging out in Wisconsin, just waiting to give us the latest vote tallies when the polls close. Apparently Donald Trump has to win or he's out! Ditto Ted Cruz. It's very exciting, at least to those people who get paid to be excited about it.
You can now "look younger than ever" with a revolutionary new skin cream available only by calling the number on your screen. (I wish I had written it down but as I mentioned earlier, I was eating.) I found it pretty hard to believe that a person can look younger than they did when they actually were younger, but that's what the manufacturer of this exciting product is claiming.