Listen: If I were getting paid to pretend to be cheery, I could be cheery. Or if the world were a cheerier place, I could be cheery. Or if I did not need hip replacement surgery and could instead go for a run every morning like I did in the old days when I was much cheerier, I could be cheery. But none of those things are the case, and so, as the famous chef-slash-racist Paula Deen said tearfully on national TV, "I is what I is and I'm not gonna change." And FYI, in New York or DC, not being cheery is considered fairly normal behavior.