Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Stuff Jewish Mothers Don't Like

I ran across a website this morning called "Stuff Black People Don't Like." Naturally, it is jam-packed with all the egregious errors that dumb, unthinking, unfeeling, boorish, bigoted and racist white assholes do on a daily basis that piss black people off. What I have to say to them is, "Boo-fucking-hoo, you're not the only group that is mistreated!" I belong to another one, and I'm here to tell you I'm sick of it.

Anytime I help someone, or even suggest helping, I am accused of being a "Jewish mother."  This is quite annoying, not to mention racist and sexist and possibly ageist, and I am currently considering who I can sue, what government agency I should contact, and how to blame Rush Limbaugh.

Yesterday I gave a worker in my home a Band-Aid, which he asked for in case you wondered, and suggested he wash the cut on his hand before applying it. He said, "Okay, Mom. Are you Jewish?" (That was simply because he did not know for sure and did not want to go out on that particular shaky limb.) If someone has a cold and I offer a tissue rather than watch their snot drip onto my furniture, they take it while saying, "You are such a Jewish mother." When friends stop by and I offer them coffee or water or a beverage or ask if they are hungry, I am immediately told I am "being such a Jewish mother." When our son is sick or his allergies are acting up and I suggest he take an antihistamine, my very own husband quickly points out, "she can't help herself, she's a Jewish mother."

This racial profiling is being fed by the publishing industry, which prints books on the subject under the guise of humor while perpetuating the stereotypes. Some titles:  Jewish Mother Goose, Secrets of a Jewish Mother, How to Be a Jewish Mother, Yiddeshe Mamas, The Jewish Mother Book, 25 Questions for a Jewish Mother, The Portable Jewish Mother, A History of the Jewish Mother, and the very now, very today, very up-to-the-minute, Modern Jewish Mom. Well, guess what-- I am a Jew and I do have a kid, so I guess that makes me a card-carrying you-know-what. But I am sick of hearing this, and from now on you can all starve, or bleed on the carpet, or drop dead for all I care--I will not offer succor. This Jewish mother is closing down the whole business. Next time you visit me, eat before you come.

6 comments:

  1. RIGHT ON (i am a card carrying) MOTHER FUCKER!

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  2. I guess I have to bring my own food when we have dinner at your house.

    GL

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  3. It's so sad that the world turns all the positive caring aspect of the "Jewish mother" into something negative. All the examples you gave were just very normal acts of being a mother or a kind person, or how one should treat a guest when he comes to your home. Nothing extreme by any means. Stop listening to all that foolishness and be true to yourself, that's all that really matters in the end.

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    1. Anonymous: You are so right, but after a lifetime of having it be used in a pejorative sense, it's hard to remember that the behavior is rooted in kindness. Thanks for saying so.

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  4. LAUGHOUTLOUD ending Andrea - and I especially connect with the 'Yiddeshe Mamas' - I should read it. I'm just Jewish by influence & injection.

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    1. Glad you liked it, but what do you mean, by injection?

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