Friday, March 30, 2012

Saint Andrea's Faults

Aerial view of the San Andreas Fault
This morning I got pissed off and declared that I would no longer be writing this blog. The post in which I declared that has been deleted--by me--because I can. I can write a new one saying the same thing, then I can delete that one too. That's the great thing about a blog, you can do whatever the hell you want and nobody can stop you! It's quite cool.

Anyway, I heard from some of my dear friends who said they actually do read my blog and would miss it, and that made me feel better and think perhaps I would continue. There was also a comment from that sneaky old coward, Anonymous, who said the trouble with my blog is that I don't see all the things that are wrong with me and that "it gets tiresome." Who knew? I always feel as if I am quite self-deprecating on a regular basis, but apparently not enough to please some folks. So, following is a list of my faults; feel free to point out anything I omitted:

1. I am very judgmental about people. I really hate anyone who is stupid, has a limited vocabulary, talks incessantly without checking if you are interested or even listening, does not keep up with the news, watches reality TV seriously and not as a hoot, goes to every movie as soon as it is released thinking that makes them cool, and believes what they read in the paper.
2. I use food as a drug and eat not only when I am hungry but when I am sad or angry too. Fortunately this is not too often so I am not too fat.
3. I am unabashedly disdainful of the obese. This comes from a childhood of mental and physical abuse by a morbidly obese person, my older sister. I spent many years in therapy dealing with this problem, but then my shrink died and I still hate very fat people.
4. I do not see addictions as a disease and so I am harshly unsympathetic towards alcoholics, drug addicts and cigarette smokers. I smoked for 40 years myself and never once thought I had a disease, I thought I liked to smoke.
5. I get bored easily and so lose interest in projects and people sooner than might be expected or desired.
6. I hate small talk and bullshit and thus am frightening to many people who are afraid to hear anything close to the truth about life, death, and especially death.
7. I hate parties that aren't fun. If you throw a party, then you'd better serve good food, adjust the lighting, provide good music and invite interesting guests. I don't want to drive over just to eat your chips and dip and sit around in a deadly silent room making small talk with boring people who never ask me one question because they are either too meek or too self-absorbed to wonder about anyone else.
8. I talk too loudly in public and don't care what strangers think of me. (My son hates this.)


  1. welcome back saint andrea!

    Well at least one fault you don't have is a lack of self awareness!

    One other thing . . these faults you mention . . . are precisely why I love you so much . . .

    On behalf of your silent public, thanks for bringing back the blog

  2. Thank you for coming back. I told you the third time was a charm. Didn't realize that it would only take a few hours to get you back. Now you can't stop because I don't know what to call a "fourth" time. I think you covered most of your faults precisely, but if I didn't like them, then I would have stopped being your friend. Hasn't deterred me yet. In fact, I find you humorous. So, in a nutshell, glad you are back. What would the Presidential election season be without your witty comments.


  3. WHO are you anonymous? and I didn't even know you quit the blog. sometimes I just don't get to the computer.

    and I am always very excited to read anything you write. please don't stop. and why did you?

  4. WTC anonymous is a true Luddite who flatly refuses to join and get a username and password just to comment on a bog by a beloved blogger At least THIS anonymous

    1. Yes, but you sign your initials, which many other people do too. I'm not sure why it is so hard to comment here, but adding your name at end of the comment is easy. (By the way, was that you? Because you know I can take any criticism you dish out, but I would like to at least know who is saying it....)