1. Through no fault of their own-- i.e. they joined the military, rode a bike downhill too fast while talking on a cell phone, ran in high heels on cobblestones, stood on a shaky ladder at night, skied into a tree without a helmet--they have a brain injury and are now incredibly self-absorbed and have a very short fuse, even though they were incredibly self-absorbed and had that very same bad temper before they got the brain injury.
2. They suffer from a disease called alcoholism which makes them bend their arm at the elbow and bring liquor to their mouth and swallow it, and so they can't hold down a job or clean their apartment or pay their bills, forgetting that they never did any of that stuff before they started drinking.
3. They have a disease called ADD and so they can't remember things or be on time or be depended upon or contribute in any meaningful way to anything, even though there was a time when ADD did not exist and their condition was simply called laziness or irresponsibility or thoughtlessness or immaturity.
4. They married badly and their spouse is the problem but they can't leave because what about the children, or the pets or the mortgage or no money or health insurance.
5. They think everything in the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and thus the whole world is the problem and so nothing is going right for them--how could it?
Well, I have none of the above problems, thankfully, but still I do live in my own personal hell. You see, I was born under the astrological sign of Gemini. This is the sign of the Twins, which means there are two distinct personalities living within my very soul and spirit and body, and they constantly fight for control of the machine. Naturally this has been going on since my birth. It gets ugly sometimes.
In my youth, the bad twin would eat a box of Drake's Devil Dogs and the good twin would be the one who was embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit. Later on, the bad twin swallowed some LSD and the good twin showed up in the middle of the resulting acid trip and said "WTF?" (She was not happy.) More recently, the good twin took a job teaching seniors how to use computers and the bad twin got pissed off about having to hang out in a nursing home three days a week, but the good twin kept going back there until one day the bad twin showed up at work and told the director of the place that it was a depressing hellhole and she wasn't ever coming back. You get the idea. This duality has been a problem dogging my whole life, but I have never used it as an explanation of why I behave the way I do. However, I think I may start doing that so I can play the game too. What's your excuse?