Jewish Hospitality

If someone happens to stop by my house unannounced, just a few minute pass before I offer them something to eat or drink. If they have actually been invited, say for dinner or cocktails, they are greeted with a full spread worthy of Happy Hour on the QEII. I can't help it, I was raised that way. So I notice when I receive similar treatment -- or don't. The results of my independent study show that the generous folks who offer refreshments to visitors are always Jewish.

My husband and I recently went far afield of our vacation destination to visit friends who live in the state and wanted to show off their new digs. At first we assumed they would be putting us up, but they explained they couldn't so we got a hotel room nearby for two nights. (A crummy hotel, but hey, what are friends for?)

We arrived at their condo complex where they live independently of one another and spent about half an hour inside each one's home. After a brief tour of their individual premises, we sat together in the living room of each one. Nothing was offered in either location: Not a sip of water. No drinks before our dinner out in a restaurant. No after-dinner coffee or dessert. No breakfast in the morning after our two nights in the aforementioned crummy hotel. Basically, nothing by mouth.

Initially we were stunned and a bit hurt, but then it dawned on us: They're not Jewish. They just don't know any better. Like George's mother uttered in a particular "Seinfeld" episode after meeting his shiksa girlfriend's parents, "We're sitting there -- drinking coffee -- without a piece of cake!" His outraged father added, "It's stupid, that's what it is!"

Maybe it's not stupid but it's definitely inhospitable. Now I'm rethinking my behavior in anticipation of their upcoming visit to our home. It will likely be a lot easier to play hostess this time.