Jewish Hospitality

If someone happens to stop by my house unannounced, just a few minute pass before I offer them something to eat or drink. If they have actually been invited, say for dinner or cocktails, they are greeted with a full spread worthy of Happy Hour on the QEII. I can't help it, I was raised that way. So I notice when I receive similar treatment -- or don't. The results of my independent study show that the generous folks who offer refreshments to visitors are always -- and only -- Jewish.

My husband and I recently went far out of our way on a vacation to visit friends who live in the state and wanted to show off their new digs. At first we assumed they would be putting us up, but they explained they couldn't so we got a hotel room nearby for two nights. (A crummy hotel, but hey, what are friends for?)

We went to admire their condos -- they live independently of one another -- and spent about half an hour or so inside each one. They walked us through on a tour of their premises, then we all sat in the living room of each. Nothing was offered in either location: Not a drop of water. No drinks before dinner out in a restaurant. No after-dinner coffee or dessert. No breakfast in the morning after the two nights in our aforementioned crummy hotel. In fact, nothing by mouth.

Initially we were stunned, but then we realized: They're not Jewish. They just don't know any better. Like George's mother uttered in a particular "Seinfeld" episode after meeting his shiksa girlfriend's parents, "We're sitting there -- drinking coffee -- without a piece of cake!" His outraged father added, "It's stupid, that's what it is!"

Maybe it's not stupid but it's definitely rude. Now I'm rethinking my behavior in anticipation of their upcoming visit to our home. It's likely to be a lot easier to play hostess this time.