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| A group of pigs feasting. |
It's so hard to keep up with what's allowed and what's not. Apparently you can no longer accuse Americans of being piggish, despite mounting evidence to the contrary. I concluded this after reading my edited letter to the editor in today's
Wall Street Journal, which was "cleaned up" by the editorial staff. Following is my original letter:
"While l appreciated writer Kyle Smith's censuring of thoughtless theatergoers who munch and crunch during a dramatic performance ("Snacks Are for After the Curtain Call," Opinion, Apr. 14), I fear his ire is misdirected. Let's face it, American have endless appetites and would eat a hot dog, taco or gyro if food trucks were allowed at funerals. So why do theatre-owners, who already rake in average ticket prices in the hundreds, even offer food and drink to audience members? Nobody will die if they don't eat for two and a half hours. And besides, there's always intermission -- let them pig out then!"
The version that appeared in the paper changed the last line to, "And besides, there's always intermission. Let them feast then."
Now, feasting is very different from pigging out. Feasting takes place seated at a big table at Thanksgiving and Christmas and at weddings and bar mitzvahs and in novels by Charles Dickens and the Bronte sisters. It features groaning boards and pitchers of ale. Pigging out is more like what people do these days, usually involving chips or hot dogs or tacos or pizza, often while sitting on a couch in front of a TV or at a ball game, or even a play.
But apparently "pigging out" is offensive in these politically correct times, when every street corner in our little Maine town has a sign suggesting we all "Be Nice." So don't say "pig out" anymore lest you incur the wrath of the Democrats, who as we all know are so very, very nice.
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