I'll Take the Placebo, Thanks

According to an article in today's Wall Street Journal, a study involving 146 patients with knee problems has proven that fake surgery works just as well as the real thing. This is exciting news that just may revolutionize the entire medical world. It seems that the recipients of the real meniscus repair surgery were exactly the same in terms of pain and quality of life after one year as the control group of patients who received "placebo surgery," which was nothing more than doctors pressing instruments firmly against the knee to simulate the procedure. The study was done in Finland, so I assume it would also work in Maine since it's similarly cold, bleak and Ibsen-like here as well.

Since I'm scheduled to have hip surgery in a couple of months, I'm going to ask my doctor, who is at the forefront of all things surgical, if he can do this for me. After all, a hip is sort of like a knee; they're both in the leg, and they move. Anyway, it's worth a shot. If he agrees, I'm hoping he'll accept a fake fee as well.