Some of My Best Friends Were Democrats

I have been accused of being "stupid" and "blind" for being a Republican who supports Donald Trump. Since I am neither stupid nor blind -- although I do have hard time reading small print -- I wondered if it's the Democrats who are stupid for calling me stupid. Reflecting on some of my past close friends who were all staunch Democrats, I realized that it is! Some examples follow.

Nancy T. was in her 20s when she and her husband were busted for smuggling cocaine into the country from Mexico. While she was busy inserting drug-filled plastic bags into her vagina she was also the mother of a toddler. I met her years later, in her 50s, when her worst offense was alcohol abuse. I once asked her how she kept up with current events since she didn't read any newspapers or watch any news shows. She explained that her (second, non-smuggling) husband read the New York Times every day and "he tells me what to think.'

Joyce J. used abortions as birth control, having six of them during her child-bearing years. (She never had any live children.) A sex addict, she often had intercourse with three men in one night, not at the same time but on "dates" several hours apart. More annoying to me personally, she would keep an open bottle of red wine in her fridge for up to ix months, claiming it was "still good" if it was corked.

Jay R. left her husband of 34 years (and father of her children) because he got hurt in an accident and required months of rehab. She vowed that she wasn't going to "sit at home and take care of him," which was ironic since she is a nurse practitioner.

Leo F. said he could no longer be friends with me because I voted for George W. Bush, but he had no  trouble carrying on an extra-marital affair begun just two weeks after the birth of his second child. He often told his wife that he would be out of town on business for a few days when he was actually just across town with his mistress.

There were many more, as in my younger years I was also a Democrat and as the saying goes, birds of a feather... And I also did stupid, and even immoral things back then. But I'm older and wiser now, and I'm happy to report I'm a Republican.

Just Answer the Damn Question!

Watching politicians skirt the truth is pretty much the leading pastime of most Americans during this election year, and frankly I am sick to death of it. Earlier this evening a prime example of this genre aired: an interview on FOX News wherein Bret Baier, the closest we've got to a real journalist since Walter Cronkite died, faced Kamala Harris one-on-one. 

Armed with some pithy questions for the would-be Commander-in-Chief, Baier never got an answer to any of them. Instead, Kamala hemmed and hawed, swallowed air and gulped, and obfuscated a whole lot while repeating her litany of tired insults aimed at Donald Trump. 

She could not or would not say how many illegal immigrants have entered the country under her watch. She could not or would not say when she first noticed that Joe Biden was losing it. She could not or would not say if she supports transgender surgery, on the taxpayer's dime, for prisoners. She could not specify how her "new" administration would differ from her last four years as vice-president. Or why 50% of the country prefers the other candidate. Or what she means by, "It's time to turn the page," when she's the very page we've got to turn!

I wished I had been there to say, "Hey lady, answer the damn question!" And try as hard as he could without slapping her in the face, Bret Baier, like so many before him, couldn't get her to do it.

Future Astronauts of America

As someone old enough to remember when trying to make a doctor's appointment, or any appointment at all -- car repair, insurance claim, dinner reservation -- did not include screaming "representative" over and over, I worry that when the last baby boomer dies nobody will have any idea how good things were before robots replaced people, when obesity was frowned upon, when there were just two genders and when only intelligent people ran for political office. (Ha!)

Oddly enough, despite technological advances supposedly improving all our lives, life has gotten worse. Who cares if a booster rocket can safely return to its launch pad when suicides, fatal drug overdoses, gun violence and mental illness continue to increase? And as for that rocket, who knows how bad things will have gotten by the time we settle on Mars?

It's doubtful humans will make it to Mars if we continue feeding our children Fruit Loops, Honey Smacks, Marshmallow Fruity Pebbles, Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys, Cookies & Creme Krispies and Chocolatey Chip Eggo Waffles for breakfast. Will all our future astronauts be diabetic? 

Just wondering.

TV REVIEW: Ellen DeGeneres/For Your Approval

For reasons I don't understand, many people choose to watch depressing fictional stories as a way to unwind from the depressing factual events that occur in the world every day. This 70-minute Ellen DeGeneres stand-up comedy special streaming on Netflix delivers a welcome respite from the usual violence, drugs, gore and other assorted horrors that fill the airwaves and give you bad dreams. 

Filmed last August at the stunning Orpheus Theater in Minneapolis, the sold-out crowd in attendance reacts to Ellen's decidedly low-key humor with standing ovations and roars of approval worthy of a Beatles reunion including John, George and the Pope. While I laughed out loud quite a few times, it was mostly because I'm unfamiliar with DeGeneres and thus her comic style seemed refreshingly new to me. Still, it wasn't that funny. 

Mostly it offered DeGeneres a chance to explain herself and salvage her tarnished reputation after having been, as she put it, "kicked out of show business." Her expulsion stemmed from the allegations of many of her staff that her daytime talk show, Ellen, was a hostile workplace. Much of her material centered on that. As someone who never saw that show once in the 19 years it aired, I came away thinking she was a real sweetheart and flatly discounted rumors that she had ever been the "Queen of Mean."

When DeGeneres departed from that subject and focused strictly on comedy, her take on everyday life was a hoot. A fraction of the material dealt with her being openly gay, but not enough to be annoying. Mostly she was amusing, insightful, charming and decidedly un-mean. Watch it if you need a quick pick-me-up.

Picking Apart Racism

After my two last blog posts accusing pit bulls of having a vicious intrinsic nature, I received the following comment from a reader: "Regarding pit bulls, you are a racist. Also ignorant, you know nothing about them and only believe what you read in the media."  

I wondered -- how could my feelings about pit bulls be considered racist. Have the stories and statistics about pit bulls attacking and killing people all been that dreaded "misinformation" created by the media? And if so, for what purpose?

And if you follow that thinking, maybe Hamas isn't so bad. Maybe they didn't really rape and murder innocent Israelis one year ago. Perhaps my attitude is racist towards the Palestinian terrorists. 

I guess I am a racist since I do notice race, which you are not supposed to unless you are in the HR Department of any institution or corporation, at which point it becomes quite pertinent and you damn well better notice. 

The woke gospel is you are not supposed to even "see" race, and in fact should strive towards being "color blind." Except on every form you fill out for whatever petty reason, you are asked to identify your race. And when he ran for office,
Joe Biden promised he would appoint a "woman of color"'as his VP, which makes him both racist and sexist. 

Would anyone vote for Kamala Harris for President if she were white?

Pit Bulls On Parade

This being National Pit Bull Awareness Month, I thought it fitting to relate the following information. In the last week, three people have been attacked by pit bulls in separate incidents. A 1-year-old boy and a 59-year-old man died from being mauled by the ferocious dogs, and a 37-year-old woman had her arm ripped off by her very own pit bull!

Isn't it crazy that this breed, specifically bred to be killers, is still in existence? What does our government actually do to protect us?

Doggie Dos and Don'ts

This is an easy quiz -- only one question!  It should take no longer than a minute to complete. Your answer will clarify just how smart you are.

1. I would leave my 1-year-old child at the home of a babysitter who has:

     A.  1 pit bull

     B.  2 pit bulls

     C.  3 pit bulls

     D.  Zero pit bulls

If you chose D you are sane, not a danger to the gene pool and thus are free to procreate. If you chose any other answer, you are a big dummy and should wear a sign saying "Beware, I am a big dummy."

FYI, this post is in response to a news article about a woman who left her 1-year-old son with a babysitter who owned 4 pit bulls. The sitter went out and left the boy alone with her 13-year-old daughter and the pit bulls. During her absence the little boy was mauled by all the dogs and later died from his injuries.

Many people say that "pitties" are adorable and loving. I say Google how many deaths have been caused by, say, a cocker spaniel or a poodle, then do the same for a pit bull.