Saturday, January 7, 2017

Another, Much Better, Donald

I hate advertising. Despise it, abhor it, detest it and all the rest of the words that mean the same thing. This may stem from my earliest days as a graphic designer when I actually worked in one of those windowless cubbies in an advertising agency in Washington, D.C., selling can't-remember-what to God-knows-who. Regardless or the origin of my dislike, I now mute all ads on TV and pay not the slightest attention to them in print. Naturally they don't work on me. Except for one.

Young Donald was special.
I should be embarrassed to admit it but I switched from Tropicana, after switching from Florida's Best, to Simply Orange juice, all because of Donald Sutherland's voice. As a longtime fan of the actor, I saw every film he ever made until those Hunger Games in 2014 and 2015 -- after all, I have my standards: I want him young and handsome and sweet, not a malevolent old tyrant orchestrating death. Without Young Donald I was bereft! His son Kiefer only poured salt in the wound, looking like his father but not nearly as special, and so I never watched his hit TV show about 24 hours or something like that.

Basically my life was totally and sadly Sutherland-less, until one day I suddenly realized, hearing a commercial I hadn't muted in time, that Donald was doing the talking! And he sounded so honest, so pure, so un-commercial-sellouty, that I ran right out and bought some of that juice and found out Donald was right: It really is simply orange juice, no additives or preservatives and not from concentrate, and it tastes like you are on a beach in Florida! Now I am a permanent customer, and I turn up the volume on those OJ ads.

Young Donald was the greatest! Here are some of his most memorable movies; if you haven't seen them, get started:
Klute
Don't Look Now
M*A*S*H
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Ordinary People
Six Degrees of Separation
Max Dugan Returns
The Day of the Locust
The Dirty Dozen

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