Monday, December 19, 2016

All the Suckers

Like many of my fellow Americans today, I am very confused. Why did Hillary Clinton lose the election anyway? There are so many possible reasons, it's hard to know which is really to blame. Among the likely reasons:

1. FBI Director James Comey said some stuff about her being dishonest just two weeks before Election Day. He sucks!
2. Wikileaks released some emails from Hillary's personal and illegal email account that made her and her campaign manager John Podesta look bad. Wikileaks sucks!
3. The Russians hacked some emails and released them to the public, the contents of which made Hillary look bad. If they hadn't done that, the public would never know. Putin sucks!
4. Angry white men hate Hillary, according to her husband Bill Clinton. (Is he one of them?) That's the reason she lost, he says, because they all voted for Trump. White men suck!

Just about the only thing that is clear is that poor Hillary's loss has nothing at all to do with her, or how disliked she is by people of all stripes, or how inept she was as a campaigner. No, not at all. She lost because Donald Trump got more electoral votes than she did. Trump sucks! Naturally everyone now agrees that our electoral process is outdated and wrong. It must be. The Electoral College sucks!

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