Friday, September 9, 2016

Out of Step


My conclusion after many decades of living, and most recently reading comments on social media and watching CNN, is that there is something drastically, deeply and devastatingly wrong with me. I'm different than my peers in many ways, and though I don't like it one bit I am unable to change things no matter how hard I try. Some of the ways include but are not limited to:

I do not hate Ann Coulter. In fact I think she is quite pretty, extremely intelligent and often very funny, whereas I have nothing nice to say about Oprah Winfrey and have never understood her huge appeal. 

I can't fathom why any women would wear gigantic dangling earrings, pointy stiletto heels and clingy, low-cut polyester dresses unless they are seeking attention from men, but then when they get it they claim to be victims of sexual harassment and sue.

I think Jenifer Aniston is a fine actress, Sarah Jessica Parker is beautiful, and Anjelina Jolie is downright unattractive, being too skinny and silly with those puffy lips.

I never considered it weird that Woody Allen married Soon-Yi, and I never believed he abused his only child with Mia Farrow, who by the way is a major nutcase if you ask me.

I despise the Clintons whereas I adore the entire Bush family. (Well, not Jeb so much but I still think he's okay.)

I don't want to take a cruise to the Caribbean or anywhere else. Worse, I have never been to any Caribbean island, or to Costa Rica or Mexico or any rain forest anywhere, mostly because I hate insects and humidity.

I still haven't read any Harry Potter books, seriously abhor yoga and find tattoos ugly. 

I have never binge-watched (or even regular-watched) even one episode of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Orange is The New Black, House of Cards, Star Trek, Downton Abbey, The Wire, or Game of Thrones and have no desire to do so.

I never liked the music of The Grateful Dead.

Even though I am Jewish I have never been to Israel and although I wish I wanted to go I don't really. 

I do not like lobster one bit which would be no big deal but I live in Maine where loving lobster is akin to believing in God, which by the way I do. (At least that.)

Maybe I'm crazy or maybe I just need new peers. I wish I knew which.




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