Monday, December 2, 2013

Sloths Are Good, but Killing Keith Olbermann is Better

I guess this is one of the 3-toed kind.
It seems that over the last few years the desire for privacy has flown out the window. The very same window, in fact, that my parents shut tight so the neighbors couldn't hear. Since they never fought unless the windows were closed, things were much more harmonious around our house in the spring and summer months. And God forbid a million times if you got sick, nobody should know: you didn't advertise it. Certainly the word "cancer" was always whispered. But now everyone knows everything, and nothing is more desired than "going viral."

To that end, ordinary people send nude photos of themselves to other ordinary people, hoping to get famous. Celebrity sex tapes show up on YouTube, while hoarders and fat people and heroin addicts strut their stuff on TV and nobody blinks an eye. It all reminds me of little kids playing doctor, saying, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine." Doesn't anyone grow up anymore?

By the way, writing about sloths, those medium-sized mammals belonging to the families Megalonychidae and available in a 2-toed or 3-toed model, is better than writing about cats if you're hoping to go viral. So says an article in today's Wall Street Journal about how the head writer at Gawker decides what stories to post in order to get the most readers. Still, my money is on calling for the assassination of Keith Olbermann, a tried and true method. (It worked for me.)

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