Wednesday, April 10, 2013

What Are Unfriends For?

Of all the bad things Facebook hath wrought, the degradation of the concept of friendship tops the list. This morning, having awoken in a sour mood owing to my brother-in-law's recent accident and a particularly obnoxious waitress at dinner out with my family last night, I took a bold step and "unfriended" those Facebook "friends" I cannot count on for anything. Naturally this leaves me woefully depleted in the Friends department, a statistic which, oddly enough, pops up when you search someone's name, as if that very fact is the most important thing about them. I suppose it's better than if it said Weight 139, but just barely.

Amassing tons of friends on Facebook is now a real goal for many people! What really irks me is when someone I have never met in the flesh becomes my "friend," or worse, two "friends" of mine who have never met become "friends" with one another because they both know me. This is quite common.

I want so much to hone my list to those people who would give me blood but I am addicted to playing Words With Friends, and while a couple of my opponents might actually come through with a pint, I'd rather bleed to death and play the game than not play at all. Still, seeking honesty in all my relationships, and armed with a cold heart that has grown colder thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, I went through my Friends list and deleted anyone who A, I have never met or B, presents themselves falsely (is full of crap) or C, has not posted in months or D, refers to people as "my peeps."

I feel better.

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