Say What You Mean, Dagmar

JC started the whole "fingers crossed" thing.

Last month I traveled to Haiti. In preparation, I received several inoculations to protect myself against disease. I started taking malaria pills beforehand but they made me sick, so I went ahead without them, relying instead on good old-fashioned insect repellent. I returned in perfect health and feeling empowered to battle our normal, non-life-threatening skeeters here at home.

Which is why it was so funny, nay downright hysterical, when an old friend and neighbor who recently moved away used the lowly mosquito as the reason my husband and I surely could not come for a visit--just two hours north. "They're really bad here, you wouldn't like it," were her exact words. And lest I think it's a temporary problem, she explained helpfully, "They're here until at least the end of June." Then she made it all better by saying that if she were ever in our neck of the woods, she might call and maybe we could get together.

Honesty is the best policy in all things, except of course when it's related to how much you dislike your son's girlfriend. Other than that, please uncross your fingers and tell me outright that you are sick of me and my opinions, or whatever it is--but don't say it's because the bugs are biting.